We’ve all been there: whether it be from relationship issues, family drama, or just a general feeling of dissatisfaction with life. Most of us have had a bad day. While sometimes we’re feeling so low it seems like there is nothing in the world that could cheer us up, there are steps you can take to cope with how you’re feeling in the moment. For many, these feelings are only temporary; however, be careful not to confuse a bad day with the persistent negativity and sadness that characterize depression. There are steps you can take if you suspect you may be struggling with something more serious, the first of which is to let someone safe know how you’re feeling so that they can assist you in finding someone to help. The following steps, however, are applicable to those of us who have endured the more temporary misery of a really terrible day.
1. Be kind to yourself.
Maybe this seems cheesy, but it can be difficult at times to avoid the temptation to beat yourself up for feeling so bad. Perhaps something really trivial set you off, like the person you have a crush on not texting you back, or receiving a grade many people would kill for that was just slightly below your personal standard. We are all unique individuals who get upset for different reasons, each of which is VALID. It is okay to feel horrible for something that seems stupid! Do not talk yourself into thinking that you have no right to feel bad, because you absolutely do, no matter what the circumstances.
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2. Cry.
Not everyone will feel the need to express their emotions in this way, and that is okay, too, but for those of us that do, let it out! When you start to well up, and you get that peppery feeling in your nose, and your lower lip starts to tremble, don’t fight it. Your body is providing you an awesome tool which will actually help you to feel better. Get yourself to a safe space, whether that be in your room under the covers, or in the privacy of your car, and sob your eyes out! It may feel like you’ll never stop, but I promise you will, and once you do, you’ll probably notice you feel a little better.
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3. Talk to someone.
If it was something minor that set you off, you may be ashamed to talk to someone about it. Most of us are lucky, though, to have people in our lives who we can trust with even the most ridiculous and embarrassing details of our lives. Go to that person and let them know that you’re having a rough time, and hopefully they’ll rise to the challenge of making it their personal mission to help you feel better. Maybe they can provide you with an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or a batch of cookie dough to get you through the day. One tissue box and a season of Friends later, you (and your bestie) will be glad you didn’t have to go it alone.
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4. Write it out.
Some of us may be attending a new college for the first time, and have yet to make any connections close enough to confide in. If this is you, all you need is a pen and a notebook (or a laptop if you prefer). Journal about how you’re feeling: what made you feel low, why you think so, why you feel stupid about it, who you wish you could talk to. Write all of the things that pop into your brain, and don’t worry about spelling or grammar or making it sound as sophisticated as that epic English essay you wrote last month. This is private, for your eyes only, and it doesn’t matter what you write, only that you do. You don’t even have to go back and read it after! Burn it (or delete it) if you want to! But there is often something cathartic and calming about taking the time to analyze your emotions. If this tip isn’t for you that’s okay, too; sometimes it can be overwhelming (and in some cases more harmful) to ruminate on the pain you’re experiencing. You’ll know this one isn’t your cup of tea if it’s making you too emotional to continue, and if that happens, just stop, and try a different tip.
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5. Have a cup of tea.
Or a warm drink, coffee or hot chocolate will also suffice. There is something about feeling the warmth of a hot beverage in your chest as you drink it that calms and soothes. So before you settle in with your journal, or make a phone call to your friend, boil some water and get out your favorite mug! (Or if you choose to seek refuge in your car, hit up a Starbucks and get yourself a damn peppermint hot chocolate-with the whipped cream-you deserve it).
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6. Get cozy.
Go home, skip class if you need to (definitely not all the time, but sometimes it’s better for your mind to calm yourself down than to zone out and take absentminded notes that won’t be any use to you later anyway). Put on something soft and warm, and get under the covers. Do what you can physically to feel safe and sound, and mentally you may start to catch up.
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7. Distract yourself.
Sometimes there’s nothing better than diverting your attention from the issues of the day to something unnecessary and utterly enjoyable, like a trashy reality show, or Harry Potter (you’ve read them each a million times, but they never cease to bring you joy, so just pick one and start reading). The activity itself doesn’t matter, only the fact that you’ve directed your mind from yourself to something external. This might not make your problems go away, but perhaps when you return to reality, something will have shifted: maybe the reasons for your sorrow will seem to lose magnitude, maybe what you cared so much about in the morning will have lost some weight by nightfall. Such is the power of the Kardashians and J.K. Rowling (these names do not belong in the same sentence, and yet in this case, it works).
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So there you go! 7 tips to help yourself feel better when you’re having a bad day! These aren’t quick fixes to solve your problems, and they certainly aren’t the only things you can do when you’re feeling down, but hopefully the next time you’re feeling low, these tools will help lift your spirits (or at least do what they can to comfort you in the moment.) So go cry and watch The Notebook– it’s good for your mental health.
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