Before I prepare the obituary for my freshman year at UCSB, I have to pack up my newly acquired Californian quirks. As an out-of-state student, my first year at UCSB has gifted me a wannabe valley girl accent and a diagnosed kombucha epidemic. And while I’m sad that this year has come to an end, these pieces and fragments of the Californian lifestyle have long been digested into my personality and will stick with me throughout the summer. From my NorCal friends, I’ve added “hella” to my vocabulary, and as a certifiable stalker of the UV index, I have my sun-kissed SoCal friends to thank. These small morphs to my identity are not the only things I have to pack up.
Dorm Doom
The mountain of stuff I’ve accumulated in my dorm room is heinous. I’m not only saddled with mega tons of clothes but will also have to face the atrocity that is my desk drawer. Everyone and their mother champions a “junk drawer,” but I let mine get severely out of hand. Usually, when it’s full of junk, you still know what junk is in there and what to expect when you pull it open. If I’m honest, it’s like Deal or No Deal, and I got stuck with the briefcase that has the lowest amount of prize money. It’s a sad collection of neglected blue books, unused thumb tacks, and Aquaphor. As I plow through these items, I’m appalled at the sheer number of things I’m the owner of. Most are useless, but the one thing in this drawer that saved me countless times this year is the Oil Slick Beach Tar Remover wipes. Holy. Grail. While I may have a knack for collecting dust along with my scissors and pens, I surely came to college prepared. Jack Johnson warned me that tar balls are no joke.
Now, for those of you in similar situations, please consider the following: Ikea Frakta bags, Tetris practice, and deodorant. Fitting everything together will be tricky. And it will be sweaty. But if I can do it, I trust you can too. I am the subject of frequent Tik Tok breaks, waiting until an even minute number to get started, and trying on every article of clothing I own before storing it away. I advise against indulging in procrastination, as I tend to do, but it is easier said than done. As such, I recommend an accountability partner. Bonus points if your parents are there to help, as they surely won’t let you take a moment’s rest until everything is as good as gone. To keep them from asking questions about your items or complaining about your shopping addiction, play music! It won’t drown out the prodding voices, but it does produce a more uplifting move-out mood. Â
My Inventory of Californian Lingo
Speaking of music, I’ll be packing up my favorite surf rock playlists along with my Californian quirks. Shout out to one of my favorite songs: Johnny Says Stay Cool by Babe Rainbow. Just give it a listen. Right now. Literally, stop reading and just feel the drum. It’s electric. Those adjectives are part of the lingo I’ve come to adopt. I’ve heard terms like these in passing, and while in-state students don’t bat an eye, I run to my notes app to keep them on a working list of all my favorite sayings. When I get home, I plan to be the ultimate Karen Smith from Mean Girls. That’s so fetch, right? I’m going to make it a thing. I swear.
Anyway, as the year comes to a close, I’m happy to reflect on my new persona. I’ve absorbed the traits of a true UCSB student. I have thrifted skirts and self-cropped t-shirts to spare. I have a Blenders addiction, a sea-glass hunting hobby, and a frat boy phobia. All evidence that I survived. I live to tell the tale. And as I tear apart my dorm and pack up all my bags, these eccentricities will fly back home with me and stick with me until my accumulated brain rot flatlines me.