Why is it a taboo to label someone as your significant other? Is it the fear of commitment? The rarity of couples on campus? It’s a new year and we need to address the fear of “becoming official” epidemic and the concerns that many women have contributing to the taboo of being exclusive. These concerns become less intimidating once they are explored and ultimately debunked. One thing is sure, this state of limbo is not fun place to be.
Image via Google Images
BUT, THE COLLEGE EXPERIENCE IS A HOOK-UP CULTURE
Contrary to belief, the “hookup culture” is a myth and not desired by a majority of students. Yes, there are some who do partake in the culture, but not to the scale that the myth implies. A study done by the Harvard Graduate School of Education, asked 3000 young adults, ranging from 18-25, about their attitudes towards sex and relationships. They discovered that this age group was not having as much sex as the “hookup culture” suggests. Students are not seeking a casual sex partner, but they are not seeking a boyfriend/girlfriend either. Could the belief that they would be going against the ideals of the fictitious “hookup culture” be prohibiting them from pursuing deeper relationships? Dating reveals qualities that you admire and despise in others and helps you find the one who is most compatible. Even if they are not “the one,” they could be one of the stepping stones to that exact person.
Image via Giphy
BUT, IT’S SUCH A BIG STEP TO BE TIED DOWN
Changing the status to the big O, official I mean, is not a scary step if you are confident in the faithfulness of your relationship. Your journey of self love has led you to become the person that anyone would be lucky to love. Yes, it can be intimidating, but many would argue that the risk is worth it in the end. Relationships shown in popular culture, such as in t.v. shows, films, novels, and songs, create an illusion of a relationship that is unrealistic to the average person. This misconception is pressuring young adults away from a relationship because they feel as if it is hopeless. Relationships are not all fancy dates and huge gestures, such as renting a private jet to go to Paris. There are ways to express this on a smaller level with the same effect, such as binge watching a show together or going on a late night 7-11 run with each other. There is no right way to date, just be nice and have your partner’s best interest in mind. Ultimately, this person may not be Mr./Mrs. Right, but they could Mr./Mrs. Right Now! The only way to find out is to go for it! Dating is not that deep and we do not have to pretend that it is exactly that.
Image via Google Images
BUT, I’M PRETTY SURE THEY’RE ONLY TALKING TO ME?
In our generation, you could be “talking” to someone for months and still question if they actually like you. When did dating become so complicated? If you are faithful as you dedicate your time to someone, you deserve the same in return. There should not be an issue. Trust is the foundation for a relationship. When you’re not exclusive it seems as if the foundation of that relationship may be compromised. This generally leads to doubt which will affect the relationship. If you begin to question their commitment to the relationship, official or not, that calls for a conversation. Communicating your needs and feelings is vital to any type of relationship. The first step starts with you. You need to be straightforward with you feelings because it is an opportunity to express exactly how you feel. This transparency will only alleviate any apprehension that you have suppressed. If you know what you want, go for it! Life is too short to spend time in a relationship with a huge question mark plastered over it.
Image via Google Images
BUT, I’LL BE GIVING UP MY FREEDOM
Get a life! A healthy relationship would not be able to grow if you don’t get a life outside of your relationship! If you’re concerned that a relationship would take away your freedoms, there are many ways to avoid that and thrive. You are not dependent on this individual, but they are your support. Go after your passions and your relationship should never hinder your happiness or from getting what you want. The only person who is in control of your happiness is yourself. Never base your happiness on others because in more cases than not, you will be disappointed. Couples need to have differences or they will never learn anything from one another. Being in a relationship is a good learning experience for the two of you because you are each able to grow as an individual together. If you spend all your time together, you could find yourself in the position of hearing the same old stories regurgitated at you as you pretend as if it’s the first time you’ve heard it. Go to your girls’ night out, travel the world, pick up a new hobby — you can grow as a person in a relationship. You are in this relationship because you want to be, not because you need to be. Becoming official is not the end of your life, it only makes it more fun!