I’ve actually had this conversation more than once; I’ve had it more than twice:
“Wow, you’re really different.”“Oh really, how so?”“Well, see, I’ve actually never dated a black girl before.”
It’s an unfortunate reality, but I’ve noticed that in my community some people date black women like it’s some sort of experiment; they want to “try something new.” If you ask me, this is a pretty racist way to view relationships. You should date a person because you like them, not because of the color of their skin.
The prejudice nature of this way of thinking readily allows for some major misconceptions to be passed around.Allow me to debunk them all for you.
We love talking loud
I love talking. I enjoy having long conversations with people, but I am in no way ever the loudest person in the room. Just because the media decides that they want to portray black women, or black people in general, like they’re the aboslute loudest group of people, it does not mean it’s true. Individuals have individual traits, irregardless of their race. Shocker, right?
We know how to twerk
No, not all black people know how to dance. There is no research that demonstrates that dancing is a genetic trait. Dancing relates back to whether you grew up in a family that celebrates dancing, (like in Dance Moms). Or maybe you use to take dance lessons. Even though twerking is a form of dance that originated in West Africa, it does not mean that every black woman can do it. Sorry to burst your bubble.
“I Am A Strong Independent Black Woman Who Don’t Need No Man”
First of all, black women don’t talk like this. It’s totally archetypical. Secondly, it’s true that I don’t need a man, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t like them!
You can touch my hair/pet me
Now, there is a long history about black women and hair. Our natural hair has always intrigued white people. Personally, if I spend 4 hours co-washing, twisting, and styling my hair, and you think it is okay to stick your hands in my afro, you better believe you will be coated with olive, coconut, and jojoba oil for days. My hair is not a petting zoo; it is not an exhibit.
We were born and raised in the “ghetto”
Not all black people were born and raised in the so-called “ghetto.” If you put us into a “poor folks” box, you’re just buying into an unfortunate prejudice about black people. But Gerrymandering is a real thing, and it’s a serious issue that requires more public discussion.
We hate white people
Let’s be real, there is a strong and deep history rooted throughout centuries of racial tension. This does not mean that your black girlfriend will hate you just because you’re not black. You might actually experience how differently daily life is for her. You will suddenly not only be more conscious of sexism, but also racism, by experiencing life in her shoes. Accept her differences and support her in any way you can.
Whether you have heard these myths or not, dating a black girl should NOT be an “experiment.” Every woman is unique and black women are graced with having a colorful and dynamic history, a wave of experiences that will change the way you look at the world.