Almost every incoming college freshman is eager to move into the dorms and experience life as an independent adult, studying at an accredited university. They’re excited for the parties, the people they might meet, the campus culture they’ll become a part of, and some are even excited about the classes! What very few, if any, take into consideration is how our experiences at college change us as people.
The funny thing is, we don’t even realize many of these changes until we go home and find ourselves feeling uncomfortable in our own homes.
College is more than just the courses it provides. Many students become more involved on campus, whether it be with a certain academic department, or with an organization/club. A college campus can teach you things outside of what you’d learn in the classroom.
There are many places around campus, filled with students involved in groups that focus on interests like politics, the environment, mental health, religion, or academics. If those don’t pique your interest, you could even consider joining greek life. (Don’t forget about Her Campus!) The options are endless! These groups are one way to expand your worldview and grow your mind. Choosing to learn is such a big part of growing up, becoming independent, and participating in society as an adult.
It can be difficult to notice how you have changed after having learned and grown from the things you have been exposed to and experienced. At least, it can be difficult to notice when you’re at college and everyone around you is also in the process of learning new things and discovering who they are. Once you return to your “old life,” it can be glaringly obvious just how much you’ve changed.
You might find that when an older relative would make a joke, you used to laugh, but now you can’t help but find it in bad taste: now noticing the joke comes from ignorance or an unwillingness to learn and accept. Or maybe, you find that your relationship with certain relatives is actually taking a toll on your well-being. Whatever the case is, if you find yourself struggling to fit into the routine and culture of your home life after starting college, just remember that it is okay to have changed. It’s a part of being a college student.
There are many cliches regarding one’s home, such as “home is where your heart is.” I much prefer thinking of home as what you choose to make of it.
Feeling out of sync with your family when you come home from college doesn’t have to feel like the end of your relationship. In fact, it could even be considered a beginning. I cannot remember how often I found myself trying to enlighten my family about the new perspectives I have been exposed to at college. Though they may remain reluctant in their acceptance of some details, they never censor me and always allow me to express my thoughts, even respecting them.
Of course, it is not your job to change your family, but it is certainly nice to share new things with them, and if they manage to grow and change from what they’ve learned, that can only be seen as a perk!