Going back home after being away for a while unleashes a multitude of different emotions. As I sat on the plane, flying away from the orange-hued LAX sunset toward London Heathrow, I was overloaded with my own. Don’t get me wrong—I love my life at home. I have a great family, amazing friends, and there is never a dull moment. However, as I was leaving my newly found independent life, I couldn’t help thinking about all the things I had left behind.
I always remember something my mother told me after I went traveling for a couple of months. She said that no matter what you do or what you get up to when you are away from home, things in your hometown probably won’t have changed at all.Â
My school life was very close-knit; I went to the same school for thirteen years from the ages of seven to 18. Those fundamental years really shaped me however, the change that I have experienced since then has been monumental.
Of course, I was looking forward to going back. I couldn’t wait to catch up with my friends, feel all the comforts of home and spend some quality time with my family, but the heavy feeling of nostalgia sunk deep into the pit of my stomach. The word nostalgia is actually derived from the Greek nostos (returning home) and algos (pain). In the modern sense, it is seen more as intense homesickness, however, the reality is more of a feeling of pain for something that is lost.Â
I sat there and thought about the highs and lows I had experienced during those years at home: friendships gained and lost, as well as relationships. It’s hard to go home and crash into a memory at every corner, both ones you want to remember and those you want to forget.
As I collapsed into my mother’s arms at the arrival gates, enveloped by her signature Chanel Mademoiselle scent, I felt more at home than I ever had. We wiped our eyes and looked around at the other tearful reunions continuing around us wondering, where had people come from, where they were going, and what those relationships meant to them.
That night, I bundled myself up in all the layers I could find in the house, having become completely acclimated to the California weather, and headed to the comfort of my local pub to meet my friends for a drink (or two). We slipped right back into familiar talking territories, usually circulating messy moments, embarrassing nights, and ghosts of ex’s past. I found myself laughing like a schoolgirl again. Edging closer and closer to 21, it was also so interesting to hear about my friends’ plans for the future.
Being with the people that know you the most means there’s nothing you can’t really talk about. It’s so easy to pick up right where you left off like nothing has changed. Driving back home through the winding country roads, I felt so grateful to have so many valued friendships in my life. Although it was sentimental and sad at times knowing that those school days were over, I looked at the life I had now and felt even more excited for what my twenties would hold.Â
A few days later I was out in London with my mother when I received an unexpected text from an old boyfriend of mine. Having not seen him in a year I was surprised to have heard from him at all. It’s strange how this person who had been such a huge chapter of my life was now someone I knew nothing about. I was interested to see how he was, and how things were going for him. A couple of nights later we met for a drink. After the initial nerves subsided, and the drinks flowed, it was so fun to be able to talk and catch up on all the things we had missed.
I felt as if I was meeting a new person all over again while still knowing so much about them. It was so easy, being able to reminisce on good times together, as well as laugh at how stupid our seventeen-year-old selves had been. Our two stories were continuing and coinciding with over 5,000 miles between them. There’s a comfort in sharing new parts of your life with the people who were so significant in the past. When relationships break down the love shouldn’t just dissipate. Instead, being able to invest it in intimate friendships gives that love a newfound purpose.Â
Hometown blues really only affect you if you dwell too much on what was. It’s so healthy to look back and appreciate everything you have experienced, but at the same time relish in how far you have come since then. Remembering the important moments, people, and places that make you you, is vital. Being able to use these crucial storylines to catapult yourself into the life you are growing is even more imperative.Â