I’m here to set the record straight: the rumors about my mom having to pay people to be my friends in college is untrue.
She stopped in my junior year of high school.
Regardless, I definitely go to UCSB, and so I’ll share how I would go about navigating UCSB’s social life if I were to re-live my first year of college.
Greek life/CLubs
I believe organizations to be integral to the college experience.
Personally, I am not involved in our campus’ Greek life, but many of my close friends are. There are various fraternities and sororities on campus, and it wasn’t until I started school and had different sororities reaching out to me that I came to learn that they can serve distinct purposes.
I am sure that the many Greek organizations within UCSB are incredibly beneficial whether they are centered around social aspects or academic aspects. If you’re interested in rushing, feel free to read here on the UCSB’s Panhellenic Community which gives a more in depth introduction to our school’s Greek life. Or, you can follow UCSB’s Panhellenic’s Instagram account for more timely updates.
It’s these connections where I believe many lifelong friends, and even family, can be formed.
An additional way to get involved in UCSB’s community is through the numerous clubs on campus. UCSB’s myriad of clubs encompass a wide range of purposes, allowing you to hone in on topics such as culture, politics, or sports, even more expansive than fraternities and sororities.
I’m a part of various clubs on campus, and find a piece of my identity in each one (including UCSB’s Her Campus). Clubs are a great way to socialize with people with the same interests/goals as you.
Every quarter, UCSB holds Campus Involvement Fairs that allow students to uncover the hundreds of clubs that our school provides. I would recommend coming here to seek new people and opportunities which may become great chances to befriend others.
instagram inmates
Surely, you’ve at least heard of the Instagram pages dedicated to UCSB’s class of 2028 – that is, if you haven’t already posted or reached out to other incoming freshmen. Though I can only hope you haven’t paid copious amounts for a spotlight post on one of these pages!
Remember, you don’t need to pay for friends; that stops in high school (for some of us).
Especially for UCSB, I can’t help but rave to outsiders about the overall friendly environment and sunny disposition of most Gauchos.
I mean, how could you not be your best and most happy self when you’re living by the beach?
That aside, there tends to be a bit of a formula of interaction that materializes, especially for the girls, when you become Instagram mutuals with another girl. It’s a form of symbiosis in becoming reciprocal praise-spewing supporters for one another.
But the unfortunate reality is that even if your online personalities mesh, you guys may forever be jailed to a friendship that exists over the Internet. The enthralling conversations in each others’ DMs and the flood of flattering compliments under each other’s Instagram posts may often translate to awkward in-person waves and apprehensive side-eyes.
Many of your online connections are like summer flingsā€”fun but fleeting as they dissipate the further into the school year you go.
Even then, one of my best friends is someone that I reached out to on Instagram. We met up prior to school starting, and are now going to be roommates this upcoming year.
So, this isn’t to say that online friendships are doomed, but rather a heads up that they require more effort than just tapping your thumbs on a phone to build true, lasting connections. Instagram and other social media platforms are great places to start getting to know someone before meeting them in person!
Attachment issues
Do not have expectations in how you predict how you are going to makeā€” or rather, keep friends.
Often referred to as a “canon event” is prematurely anticipating that the first group of friends that you make in college are the people that you’re going to stick with the whole year.
It’s a bit of a miracle if that lasts through the first quarter.
Again, I’m not here to say that these groups will end in bad blood or anything like that. More likely it is that once everyone settles into their respective class schedules and other extracurriculars, you may drift from the people that you were close to in the first week of school.
At least you’ll have familiar faces around campus!
Another false belief that freshmen may fall victim to occurs in the classrooms. From strangers to classmates, classmates to friends, to strangers again. From best friends in your weekly section to strangers in public. It is what it is.
This form of friendship may be strictly academic, and that’s alright. Just understand that if the only time you spend with someone is inside of the classroom and not outside, its difficult for you to remain close once that class ends.
So, if you want to continue being friends, hope that you luck out next quarter to see them again in one of your weekly sections… or actually reach out to hang out apart of a scholarly setting.
the older crowd
Networking: it may help you get a foot into the frats or into the professional world. Friends can materialize in many different environments and ages.
Go to office hours, often provided on your syllabi, and from there attempt to befriend your professors and teaching assistants (TAs). Not only can they supplement you in certain courses, but they may also benefit you beyond the lecture hall.
UCSB is an immensely large school, comprised of a 20,000 student body. Later in your academic career when you are likely looking for internships, research opportunities, or even letters of recommendation, the extra effort that you put into getting to know your teachers may be valuable for all of these avenues.
Another thing to consider is that these individuals are experts (or nearly so) in their field of study, which may be something that you share a passion in as well. Thus, they are great people to inquire and learn more about specific disciplines that you may plan to pursue in the future.
In college, there are times when you just need to be utterly aloneā€”probably doom-scrolling through TikTok in your dorm. But when you need some company, I hope I’ve helped you figure out how to remedy that!
As a sort of life lesson from someone who has absolutely not figured life out: some friendships are brief, while others may stand the test of time, but each one leaves an imprint, shaping the person that we become.
And if all else does not work, I would save up some money to afford a good quality friend.