To my Noisy Neighbor Upstairs,
Hi, how are you? We haven’t formally met, but allow me to introduce myself: I live in the smallish, three person apartment right beneath you. I thought I’d point that out because I don’t think you’ve ever given much thought to the fact that someone lives directly below you.
With all of the people living in our apartment complex and our differing class schedules and such, I’m sure we’ve crossed paths before without realizing it. While I wouldn’t be able to point you out in a crowd, I’m pretty sure I can distinguish the sound of your footsteps from another person’s because they rival that of an elephant’s. Please don’t get offended, I’m quite fond of elephants and it’s actually grown to be comforting.
You see, whenever I’m studying in my living room at 12 am and feel a bit lonely, I just look up at my ceiling fan as it quivers under your quaking motions that you call walking, and I know I’m not actually alone. Sometimes I grab my broom to return the favor and tap on the ceiling as a friendly reminder that you are not alone either, but I don’t think you seem to have gotten the message just yet. I’ve used my mop. I’ve even thrown a shoe or two in hopes that you would hear the loud “thud” just beneath your feet, but you never do because every morning at 12 am, There. You. Are. You’re always so prompt. (I bet your boss must love you!)
Not to sound creepy or anything, but I’ve become accustomed to your habits. Your daily shuffling comes to a halt at around 1 am. Then my ears are blessed by the sound of your snoring. How lucky am I that I get to fall asleep to your rumbling lullaby seven nights a week? And better yet, I fall asleep with the constant reminder that I am paying way too much for an apartment with paper thin walls, but hey, at least you taught me that I deserve better.
I’ve also learned that you’re an early riser and enjoy laughing way too loudly, which I don’t really mind, but the thing is, you pretty much do everything at the highest volume imaginable – no matter how cringeworthy. (Tell your gf I say hello, btw.) Although you’ve made the school year pretty interesting thus far, I’d appreciate if you could tone it down just a bit. All this intrigue is driving me insane.
All the best,
The neighbor beneath your feet