Sex and The City’s Samantha is refreshing not only due to her fabulous outfits and consistently stunning hair, but more importantly in the way that she is unapologetically, staunchly transparent about her sex life.
The vulgar and sexually explicit character is not new to the film screen but is a role most often filled by a man. These broguish takes on women (females, birds, girls, etc.) are what we are all used to listening to, hearing our own negative experiences with sex, monogamy, and relationships echoed back to us through these weak attempts at comedic relief.
In Sex and the City (SATC), Samantha Jones embodies many of these same commitment-phobic and nymphomaniac characteristics, and does it better, classier, more relatably, and more interestingly than any of the men on the show and arguably even T.V. in general.
“I’m done with great love. I’m back to great lovers.”- Samantha Jones
Samantha Jones’s character’s witty gender reversal of the typical male role in film makes her fresh and surprising for the viewer, but also works against typical patriarchal values in media. Her objectification of men and strict aversion to monogamy is a new perspective for women in television, and is incredibly empowering for women watching, everywhere.
Women’s sexuality has long been something that has been downplayed and ignored due to the long period in time where it was thought to be unseemly or taboo for a woman to desire sexually. Samantha Jones’s character disrupts this socially imposed judgement on women because of her unapologetic sexuality; she is not afraid to discuss her sex life at length, offer unsolicited advice to her girlfriends, and maintain that men are in our lives for our pleasure, and that 99% of the time we should use them and lose them.
“Men, babies, doesn’t matter. We’re soulmates.”- Samantha Jones
Although she is an inspiring and empowering figure on her own, there is also so much to learn from Samantha’s relationships with other women. Many women in the show (and IRL) are put off by her sensuality, many are envious of her for it, and even more are both! The most interesting relationship that Sam has throughout the show is not with a man, but instead with one of these enviously admiring women, aka, Charlotte York.
In Charlotte’s evolution throughout the show, she becomes more independent and grows into her own. Before this change, however, Charlotte upheld more traditional, patriarchal ideas about marriage and women’s sexuality and she served as a kind of antithesis to Samantha’s character. When we first meet her and get to know her, Charlotte’s main life goals are an advantageous marriage to a Fifth Ave Prince Charming and a picture perfect townhome with the perfect kids.
This dream does not blend especially well with Samantha’s flippant attitude towards monogamy and commitment, and the two characters clash often on ideas of relationships, sex, and love in the first few seasons. Charlotte’s “prude”, uptight, and easily scandalized character exemplifies Samantha’s sexuality and vulgarity in a way that also sheds a light on how other women perceive female confidence. Although Charlotte and Sam have many disagreements when it comes to what is proper dinner conversation near the beginning of the series, throughout the course of the show Charlotte becomes more comfortable with her sexuality, and as a byproduct, Samantha’s.
“Damn it, I just really want to be f***ed!”- Charlotte York
In season three, episode sixteen, Charlotte and Samantha argue yet again about their opinions on sex and propriety, and in protest of what she believes are radical ideas, Charlotte abstains from Samantha’s company, and in finding new, more proper friends, finds herself a “Samantha” in her new social circle. It is in this interaction with her new, uptight, high-society friends that Charlotte says the famous line, “Damn it, I just want to be f***ed! Just really f***ed!”
This transformation of Charlotte from the painfully proper and polite exemplar of perfect NYC wife material into a woman who accepts her own sexual desire is powerful. It shows a woman who previously judged other women for being open about their sexuality coming into her own and becoming the judged woman. Samantha and Charlotte are not as different as Charlotte may have once believed, in fact they are extremely similar. Charlotte’s abandonment of her previous polite proclivities allows her to admire Samantha for her ownership over herself and her desire, and the two become all the more closer friends because they now understand each other.
“I love you, but I love me more.”- Samantha Jones
I think Sam’s relevance is timeless, as exemplified by the #womeninmensfields trend that was all over the internet a few weeks ago. Samantha Jones is quite literally the blueprint for women who unapologetically dominate a space that was previously monopolized by men. As a powerful, badass business woman in the cutthroat world of public relations she is often emasculating to men on the show because of her ineffable confidence and her knowledge of her desires. Although she is represented as a kind of humorous vulgar comedian, her epithets on sex, love, and self-love are empowering the “radical” notion that women desire and want also.
Despite different ideas about what amount of your sex life is okay to share at the dinner table or how different you may feel than your girlfriends, common ground can be found, even in the most surprising of circumstances. Just look at Sex and the City.