The word “gossip” has a negative connotation, often being associated with conversations about other people’s private lives. Because it is meant to simply be an exchange of information, it is typically done without regard for public perception. Unfortunately, gossip has been simultaneously demonized and gendered over time, meaning it is now much more negatively perceived than it once was.
The act of gossiping has been around for a long time. Before the development of modern, more rapid technologies, such as telephones and social media, it was an important tool for sharing information among one another and keeping each other up to date.
This is because, as cheesy as it is, the phrase “knowledge is power” is indeed true. For one, being aware of others’ behavioral patterns and tendencies can inform decisions about whether we should trust them, or if doing so may only lead to negative consequences.
Secondly, and this was especially true in older times, sharing the information with others would often serve to foster connections and strengthen bonds. For instance, it used to be the case that when a woman was giving birth, only other women were allowed in the room. To pass the time they would idly chat about goings on. Additionally, they would talk to the mother, offering moral support during the painful process.
Gossibb, the term predating “gossip,” actually originally meant godparent! It is derived from the words “god” and “sib” (meaning related). With relatives and godparents often being the very ones in the room during childbirth, we can then see the evolution of the word to its current meaning.
So, if gossip really did originate from such an innocent place, how is it that it came to be so negatively tied to women?
Given that gossip simply refers to information sharing, it does not make sense that it is negatively associated with women. It’s not that men gossip less than women — studies have found they do it just as much!
However, because of our patriarchal society, in which women openly vying for power is seen as unacceptable, it quickly became the case that women receive much more shame and disapproval for gossiping than men.
Men tend to fight for power more explicitly. They get physical and confrontational, and make a dramatic show of their efforts. Meanwhile, when women act in this way, they are seen as violating gender roles and thus suffer social consequences. As such, it has become commonplace for women to fight for power through more hidden means like relational aggression (i.e. vicious rumors).
Another huge reason gossip is villainized through its association with womanhood is shockingly related. While there is the potential for gossip to tear apart relationships and drive conflict, it is also just as possible that it can strengthen relationships and help alliances form, as previously mentioned.
Because of the perceived violation of gender roles when women want power, the social status they are able to gain by means of establishing connections with other women poses a threat to those currently in power: men.
The implication that women could use gossip to build solidarity among one another and then use this solidarity to fight back against men was scary to those in power. The patriarchy exists largely because women feel so disconnected from one another. If they come together and realize their collective power, that spells trouble for the men in charge.
Men realized that women could threaten the very artificial institution that allowed them to hold power, and the only way they could stop that was by villainizing women who posed a threat.
From a proclamation forbidding women to meet together and talk, to “The Scold’s Bridle,” and even death by drowning, women in the 16th and 17th centuries faced severe punishment for standing up for themselves and utilizing gossip.
When we look at how the idea of gossip has evolved over time, we start to see the systems in place that framed it as an evil, conniving practice. At its core, gossip is simply a means of occupying time and building relationships by sharing information.
By no means does this make it okay to spread rumors about people or try to lift yourself up by bringing others down, but hopefully it can help you realize just how natural gossip is. And, if you catch yourself exchanging some news with your friends, know that’s nothing to feel bad about!