Like a lot of people, I love consuming reality dating shows! Whether it’s Love is Blind or The Ultimatum, I’m always looking for the best drama mixed with sincere, emotional moments from the cast members. Recently, season two of Love on the Spectrum came out, including the Australian version of the show, so I decided I’d check to see what all the fuss was about.
If you’re not familiar with the show, Love on the Spectrum features several people on the autism spectrum entering the dating world; some have had romantic partners in the past, while others are completely new. While following the American cast, they’re also supported by Jennifer Cook, an autistic relationship coach, to help them learn the ins and outs of dating and common social norms. It’s refreshing to see so much autistic representation on screen. While watching, I grew to love the cast, and there were so many sweet interactions that I felt so at ease while watching. No drama, no foul play, no competition; the show was purely based on forming genuine connections with others, which I really appreciated.
However, while I loved watching everyone’s journeys with finding love, there were some aspects of the show that I found odd, and it has to do with the framing of the show itself. A common critique that I’ve heard surrounding Love on the Spectrum is that it, in a way, infantilizes the cast. From the adolescent sounding music to the way the narrator describes their list of “quirky” likes and dislikes in a patronizing tone taints what could’ve been a great show. While it intends to challenge misconceptions regarding what autism is, the show was still developed and created through the eyes of neurotypicals, and because of this, it’s not going to be as authentic as it could’ve been if it were created by an autistic team.
Many autistic people have openly discussed their thoughts on the show in online discussions. Some applauded it because it was relatable, while others criticized it for the way autistics were presented. “[The show] was way too awkward to watch because of the bad, exaggerated editing,” Reddit user @FlufflyWeapon commented under the Autism subreddit. “I can’t stand that they aren’t really showing how autistic people really are. They’re only showing what they want neurotypicals to see so it’s more ‘entertaining.’”
It seems like the target audience is for neurotypical people who have no prior knowledge of what the autism spectrum is, and the writers reinforce autistic stereotypes rather than combat them by selecting people who align with narratives that are often depicted within media; again, autism is a spectrum, so there are plenty of autistics who are high maskers — autistics who suppress their autistic traits in social situations — that weren’t represented or at least discussed in the series. The problem with this narrative is that it ignores the less expressed traits that many people on the autism spectrum have, which makes getting diagnosed with autism more difficult.
The show treats the autistic cast like children in many ways, and a particular scene that was uncomfortable to watch was when the production staff member asked Sharnae and Jimmy from the Australian version of the show if they “consummated their relationship.” In general, it’s a bizarre question to ask, but it more so points to the stereotype that all autistic people are asexual, and therefore, childlike.
That is not to say that there aren’t any asexual autistics, but the question seems to stem from this preconceived notion, and it doesn’t help when the show creates an “othering” effect by emphasizing the cast’s autistic traits instead of following their stories in a more natural way. Instead, the show focuses on the cast as if it’s a nature documentary, honing in on what makes them so different from neurotypicals. While the cast members themselves are so interesting and loveable, the way they’re portrayed seems unfair.
“I do find it interesting to watch,” @keeglesweegle added in regards to the filming and editing of the show, “but at the same time the plucky, patronizing music makes the social interactions seem more awkward than they need to be. On more than one occasion I’ve heard viewers say “‘awww, the autistic people can have relationships too that’s so cute!!!’, as if we don’t have two braincells to rub together. Autistic people CAN and DO date. We aren’t incapable of forming romantic bonds on our own.”
Painting the autistics on the show as “cute” was another thing that felt bizarre about the show, as I also noted how often the camera cuts from cute pets and back to the cast members every few seconds; it reads as if they were trying to apply that same cuteness to the autistic cast members, reinforcing the infantilizing notion that they’re “innocent” and in need of allistic help. While this is a very small critique, the amount of cuts between small dogs to the cast members was still enough for me to notice and feel weird about, especially with how many people exclaim how “wholesome” and “innocent” the show is, as this only reinforces the show’s infantilization.
Another significant criticism was the lack of diversity amongst the cast members, as the show mostly followed White, heterosexual autistics who were well supported financially; while there are some exceptions to this like with Journey’s story, there’s still a lack of representation in many areas. Moving forward, it would be better if more people of color were included, and it would’ve been interesting if the show explored how people of color are less likely to get diagnosed than their white counterparts as studies have shown.
In all, while I think the autistic cast members are lovely, I think the show fails in the way it’s framed. There’s nothing wrong with the show’s premise and seeing autistic individuals find love; it’s just that when you inadvertently lean into stereotypes and fail to have autistic people assist and even run the project, it is guaranteed to fail. I hope the show listens to the autistic community’s opinions and makes these changes, because I’d love to continue following the cast’s stories.