Self-love is important before, during, and after a relationship. Self-love is the glue that keeps your well-being together. Without it, you could find yourself on a corrosive path. Relationships are more than the work you put in with the other person; it also includes the work you put in with yourself. Ariana Grande’s new single “thank u, next” stresses the importance of self-love during these stages of a relationship.
Before
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There is a common quote that says, “you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else.” Loving yourself allows you to be in charge of your life, which includes determining who’s in and out of your life. A prerequisite for starting a relationship is good self-esteem. With secure self esteem, there is not a constant need for validation from others because you already love yourself. Also, along with high self esteem comes self-respect and worth. These qualities strengthen your adherence to judgments and values. Set standards for potential partners, and never settle for less. If you invest in yourself, that is a form of self love. Do something that you love such reading or listening to music. Do something that makes you happy.
During
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When you’re in a relationship, it can be hard to focus on yourself. It’s important to do activities without your significant other. You are your own person, and friends are an important part of your social circle. Never cut them out simply to be with your partner; those are friendships you never want to lose. Though you may pick up mannerisms and interests from your partner, that doesn’t change you as a person. Your partner is someone whom you share exciting experiences with in life, but you aren’t meant to transform into them. By never losing sight of who you are, that is practicing self-love. Being able to spend time apart, effectively, and putting effort into other relationships in your life, is demonstrating self-love in a relationship.
After
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Breakups are hard. When a relationship ends, it can feel like a piece of you was taken with them. A breakup has been compared to the feeling of mourning a passing. In a sense, you are mourning the passing of your relationship. After a breakup, it could be easy to lose yourself and feel broken. Self-love is crucial during these times of heartbreak; it proves how resilient you are. But you will heal. As morbid as it sounds, the only person you’re stuck with forever is yourself— so treat her well. Recognize what you learned in your past relationships and learn so you will grow stronger from it. The pain is only temporary.
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With self-love, this relationship cycle becomes easier. It allows you to learn and grow from each relationship you’re in. You’ll learn a lot about yourself once you open up to practicing self love. When you practice loving yourself, you learn to put you first. This newly found self-confidence will prevent you from ever losing sight of who you are and will realign you if you stray. Relationships are hard, but learning to love yourself makes it easier. Each ex makes you a better version of yourself. Though you’re grateful for them, you are happy to have them out of your life. Just like Ariana Grande said, “ thank you, next.”