What should I look for to find out if a friend has feelings for me?
If you’re wondering if a friend has feelings for you, it can sometimes be really confusing.
Everyone expresses feelings differently, so some may become more reserved when harboring a crush while others may become more zealous. You’ll of course never know the answer unless you ask them directly, but it’s fun to play detective sometimes! Nevertheless, here are a few things you can look out for that might shed some light on the situation:
First, take recent behavior into account. Have they been acting unusual towards you lately? Do they seem extra nervous around you in particular? Do you notice they pay extra attention to you compared to others? Have they been asking to spend more one-on-one time with you lately? Are they sharing more about themselves lately?
Next, examine their body language. Do they constantly touch their hair or adjust themselves when they’re around you? Do they find ways to touch your arm or hand? Have they been making more eye contact or staring at you more lately? Sometimes, it’s all in the subtlety.
Finally, if you’ve known them to catch feelings for others in the past, compare their past behavior towards that person with their behavior towards you now. This might be the most telling comparison if you’re able to do so. Of course, some of the above considerations may not apply since COVID has restricted in-person interactions so dramatically, but many of the above questions still apply even if you’re interacting with this friend virtually.
How many times is too many times to ask a friend for help on homework (especially when you’re lost)?
There’s a fine line between your friend helping you out and your friend becoming your pseudo-tutor. It’s great to turn to your friend for help every once in a while, but it starts to become a problem if you become overly-reliant on them. Your friend shouldn’t be a stand-in tutor or teacher for you. Even if your friend seems eager and willing to help, they may not be as enthusiastic about it as they come across. Try to put yourself in your friend’s shoes and think about how they might feel about the situation. It’s great if a friend offers help every once in a while, but if you find yourself not being able to do homework without their help, there’s a bigger problem that needs to be addressed.
If you’re lost, you can seek help from LSS or MSI for individual and small group tutoring. The DRC is also a great resource to get in contact with if you’re facing additional obstacles to completing coursework and need accomodations. Or you can simply go to your professor or TA’s office hours for some extra homework help! These are all great resources to look into for long-term help with difficult subjects. You got this!
How do you budget time for self-care?
Budgeting time for self-care can be tricky given our busy schedules. Try to make it a priority. Put self-care in your calendar and treat it like other tasks you need to get done. Be realistic with scheduling and be honest about how much time you actually have. Have you considered waking up a little bit earlier to incorporate self-care? But remember that self care doesn’t necessarily have to be time-consuming. For example, you can spend five minutes meditating or watch an episode from your favorite show to quickly unwind. Also, you can also combine self-care with things on your to-do list to feel like you’re maximizing your time. For example, you can sit outside while doing course readings to get some sunshine in your life, or you can have self-care dates with your friends to get some socializing in! It takes some practice to find your self-care style, but it’ll be worth it when you find what works for you.
I’m afraid to talk to my roommates, what do I do?
First, figure out exactly why you’re afraid to talk to your roommates. If the situation revolves around a conflict that needs to be addressed, figure out why this is making you apprehensive. Are you non-confrontational and like to avoid uncomfortable conversations? Do you think they’ll react badly? Or are you afraid of things being awkward if you bring it up? Once you figure out why you’re anxious about it, you need to create a plan of action. I’d recommend writing down points you want to bring up so you know beforehand what’s bothering you the most. Be sure to use “I” statements and avoid blaming and passive-aggressiveness in the conversation. Go into the conversation with the mindset that it’s you and your roommates vs. the problem rather than you vs. your roommates. While the conversation may still be a bit awkward or uncomfortable, you’re going to feel a lot better after voicing how you feel rather than bottling it up.
You can’t control how your roommates will act, but approaching the issue in a mature way is the best course of action in my opinion. If you live on campus and need additional guidance, I’d recommend talking to your RA. I know it can be weird involving someone else in your personal conflicts, but they can offer to facilitate a roommate meeting to moderate this conversation or at the least offer some advice on how to approach the situation with your roommates.
However, if there’s no conflict at all and you just want to connect more with your roommates, I’d recommend taking small steps to build a stronger relationship with them. Try to do fun activities together. For example, maybe you can make dinner together for some fun roommate bonding. Or if they have a hobby you’re interested in, ask them if you could join them or if they can help teach you. Hobbies like knitting or crocheting, flower-pressing, baking, painting, yoga, and origami are examples of things that can be even more fun to do with others. This can be a great way to connect and get to know your roommates better!
Disclaimer:
I’m in no way an expert. The above advice is just from my own perspective, and this is how I would give advice to a friend. So, results may vary. If you submitted a question and it wasn’t answered here, it’ll be answered next week!