So here’s the thing about guilty pleasures. I don’t have many of them, and even if I did have quite a few guilty pleasures, that information would be limited to a very select group of individuals. As a result, of the few guilty pleasures that I do have, I try to keep to myself, and for good reason too.
I remember once my boyfriend (then just a casual fling) saw a Wattpad notification on my phone, and just assumed I was a Wattpad writer, much to my obliviousness. When we started dating, a month or two later, I felt comfortable enough to admit to him that I was a Wattpad user, he said HE ALREADY KNEW!!!!! AND I WAS MORTIFIED!!!!!
He never lets me live it down.
As a result, I’m a bit secretive about the more embarrassing aspects of my personality. For one, my music taste is quite questionable. Yes, I am a Swiftie, and no, I am not ashamed of that, but I am ashamed that I never quite grew out of my One Direction phase 🧍🏽♀️. I’m a little bit ashamed that I perform my PR’s at the gym while listening to “Boyfriend” by Big Time Rush.
But I’m most embarrassed about listening to Kanye West and Travis Scott.
Awful personalities aside, I think there’s something almost shameful about admitting that I like these artists. For Kanye, it’s that I’m a basic girl who is impressed by the most basic bars. It means that I’m associated with Kanye and his awful “Closed on Sunday / You my Chick-Fil-A”. Like really???? I was impressed by that? (The answer is no, because I haven’t been impressed by Kanye since Ye.)
For Travis Scott…it’s goofy, and it’s not even like I’m only fond of one or two songs. Like no. I literally have that man’s entire discography memorized and I listen to it frequently.
As for Kanye, well, I’ve been a huge fan of his since high school, and he hasn’t dropped from my Top 5 Spotify artists in several years.
I’m not quite sure why it’s so embarrassing to admit that I like these artists. Does it perhaps detract from the character I think I’ve built for myself? Since I listen to artists who make sh*tty apology videos and threats towards their ex-wife’s new boyfriend, does that mean that my character is morally gray?
I honestly don’t know the answer, but I think I can say for certain that the shame I feel is at least correlated with the fact that I think they’re not great people. Therefore, while I might have to work on my shame regarding Wattpad (cause that’s literally so stupid, who cares if I’m a Wattpad writer?), my shame about Travis Scott and Kanye West has its place. And, until they prove to be at least slightly decent people, it will remain that way.