This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UCSD chapter.
You’re single. You’re in college and enjoying what are supposed to be the best years of your life. There are thousands of people at your school, half of which are men, but it just feels like there are none who are available or they’re all the same. What do you do? You do the one thing you swore you never would, and that’s download a dating app, also known as Tinder. Suddenly you have an infinite number of men, from ages 18-however old you like, based on a certain mile radius of your preference. Swiping left and right becomes automatic as your thumb does all the work for you. You match with plenty of guys who are quick to say “Hey you have an amazing smile” or just send an emoji in order to break the ice. Either way, you have an immediate confidence booster and guys to give you that attention that no one else at school has been giving you. But what happens when they ask for your number, and then even want to meet? How do you know whether or not this guy is a creep or could be your next Prince Charming? Well that’s where we come in.
As an advent member of the Tinder community for over a month, my friends and fellow Her Campus writers have all had some, needless to say, *interesting* encounters. From guys who appear to never have been on a date in their life, to the guys who only post pictures of their perfectly toned 12-packed abs via the infamous mirror selfies, you have every type of guy at your disposal. Now it’s just a matter of what you actually want out of Tinder.
Let’s be honest from the start, we all have needs. If you’re looking to get physical, that’s perfectly alright; just be safe about it. No lecture needed here, we are all adults. However if you actually want to find a decent guy, here are some tips to help navigate that sea of men.
1. Pictures-This is basically equivalent to a first impression, and if a guy chooses to put pictures of his car, the gym selfie, and a grainy/blurry zoomed in pic of his face, swipe left. Or my personal favorite, the selfie in the bathroom with the toilet in the background. What you should be looking for are pictures of the guy with OTHER PEOPLE, at least so it looks like he has friends, and in places other than the bathroom or the locker room. Look out for pics of what look to be his hobbies: surfing, paddleboarding, hiking, playing soccer, or hanging out with his to-die-for dog (which is sure to capture some hearts and he knows it). I personally like to see traveling pictures, because who doesn’t like a man who has seen the world?
2. Bios-Here is where it gets really interesting. If the guy has paragraphs listed that start with “Hello, my name is so-so, I’m this old and I enjoy this…” he’s basically treating this like its Eharmony. Swipe left unless you’re looking to get hitched. Guys that keep it short and concise with a little blurb or list about themselves is a swipe right. Also, an inclusion of how tall they are is always a plus. Forget those
guys who say they’re only in town for a few days and looking to find someone to give them a tour of the city. The only tour they’re really wanting is the one that’s inside your pants.
3. Breaking the Ice-Okay so you two were a match, now what? I am a full believer in chivalry NOT being dead, so wait for him to hit you up. Guys have a short attention span and are pretty simple minded, so if they are feeling it, they will make the first move. However if you think this guy is an out of this world, unbelievable 10!, then go ahead and say Hi first. If the guy basically asks if you’re DTF, unmatch right away unless you really are DTF. Or you have the guy who matched with you and one of your friends and has the balls to ask for a threesome. Uh, bye Felicia. If he just sends some emojis, respond back with some too. The simple introductions are fine, but can get a little boring when all they say is “Hey, how’s it going?” But the ones who make a slight effort and ask an interesting question or make a funny comment set them apart from the rest and are worthy of a a response.
4. Moments-This lovely feature on Tinder is a nice way to also see what this guy is really after. If he’s posting one of these with a caption like “What’s going on tonight?”, a post-workout picture, or come hang out with me, and it’s more than once a day, he’s a little too much of an attention whore. Unmatch.
So you think you’ve caught a good one. The conversation is flowing and he seems pretty normal. You’ve talked about what you both do, your hobbies, your favorite places to eat, and music types. Let’s take it to the next level: he asks for your number. What do you do? If you really feel the vibe, go ahead. But do this with caution. Your personal phone number is not a hotline; you don’t need guys spamming you 24/7. Look at it as if you two met at a bar, or at school. If you would do it real life, do it through Tinder. Now that you’ve moved the conversation to texting, you can get an even better idea of how this guy operates. If he types like a 3rd grader or only says a couple words each time, that’s boring and maybe consider backing out. If he asks for photos or you want a better look at the guy, see if he has Snapchat and send a couple selfies. Those tinder profile pics could been slightly misleading, so here’s a good way to verify what he really looks like. Also, keep in mind that now that you’ve exchanged numbers, he may be popping up on your Facebook newsfeed under ‘People You May Know” or “Suggested Friends”. Browse his page, but don’t add him as a friend yet.
After a few days pass of texting, it is now time to consider where you really want this to go and there is a high possibility of being asked to meet. From the conversations I’ve had, meet ups are a rarity. But if you do agree to do so, make sure you meet in a public place where you are surrounded by other people. Grab coffee at a local Starbucks, or go for some ice cream, or meet up for a drink at the bar with some of your friends. DON’T let him pick you up if this is the first time you are meeting, if he turns out to be a weirdo you don’t need this guy knowing where you live. Try to avoid a sit down dinner, because if things get awkward you have to sit there through an entire meal and there’s no opportunity to just get up and go freely. Save that for the next time, if he makes the cut. Also, don’t be nervous about meeting this guy, just be you.
Texting is one thing, but carrying a conversation in person and looking at each other face to face can really make a difference. If he turns out to be a little socially awkward and the conversation doesn’t flow that great, take that as a sign. You’re not just going to have a relationship through texting, so might as well cut it off now. The meet up went great, you talked for hours about everything under the sun and the physical chemistry is there. You gush to all your friends about it, and you wait for him to hit you up for round 2. Chances are if you feel like it went well, he thought so too. Don’t bombard him with texts, and don’t work yourself up over him talking to you again. Just relax, and have some faith.
However not every story will be a fairytale, and that is okay too. Not every guy is worth our time and if he chooses to opt out and not follow through, that is his loss. But if he wants to meet again, feel free to go for dinner or do a fun activity like kayaking or walking around a farmers market on the weekend. From this point on, the rest is up to you. And because no one wants to say their fairy tale happened thanks to Tinder, you can just say you met while shopping at the supermarket.