In honor of Mental Health Awareness month, I want to raise awareness about support, because people should start feeling more comfortable about coming out with their mental illness.
Imagine you’re just talking to a really close friend, and they tell you that there is something they need to tell you. Immidietly thoughts jump from place to place, whether its about you, gossip, them or a crush. But as the words float out of their mouth, your eyes open. “I have a mental illness.” Whether it is depression, anxiety, ADHD, eating disorder, bipolar disorder, OCD, schizophrania or any other disorder, it is still impactful and takes a lot to share. So as youre trying to recollect yourself, you think, “What do I do?” There is nothing one can do immidietly, but here are somethings to consider.
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Show Support:
Tell them that you are there for them no matter what they are going through. But you need to show that you mean this, because once someone becomes that vulnerable and doesn’t feel like you care, they will run away. So tell them the truth, its okay to say that your shocked or didn’t see this coming. But tell them you care, and continue expressing that. There is nothing worse than being left after opening up.
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Ask Questions:
Don’t try to overload them, but asking questions means you are trying to understand. It means you care and you want to do what you can. If they are not ready to talk about it, then back down! Don’t just ignore it, if they wanted that, they wouldn’t have told you. Try to understand, broden your perspective and listen. Ask anything that is on your mind because this is a shock. But most importantly, ask what you can do or what they excpect from you. The truth being, there are expectations with any secret being told, so listen.
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Don’t compare:
It doesn’t matter how many people you know with a mental illness, they are not the same. Research elaborates on how different people can be, so if you state that you understand, its frustrating because the truth Is you proabably don’t. This is where asking questions come.
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Educate:
Go read about the illness, go learn more about that person as a friend. You want to illustrate and show support, show that they matter to you as much as you matter to them. Unfortunately right now mental illness is a stigma, so it can be difficult for someone to open up, once they do, open yourself up to their world.
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Help:
Make sure they are seeking help. Mental illness’s are really serious and can have huge effects on people’s lives. This can be anything from having no motivation, hallucinations or brain cracking thoughts. It is important that they get treated as soon as possible, and continue receiving help.
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Be there:
Reach out when not told, communicate when they don’t speak to you, listen, and support. You probably wont be asked for help, but when you are, it is important that you be there. People with mental illness will usually need constant reissuance. You don’t know what the person is thinking, it could be anything from just feeling a little down, having too many thoughts, or thinking really negatively about themselves. This all could lead to either harm of someone else, or self harm. Its scary, but at the same time, they are probably a lot more scared than you and they need you to comfort them in whatever way possible. But most importantly, don’t treat them differently, theyre still the same person, you just now know another part to them. Make that knowledge into a stable friendship, not abandonment.
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Don’t forget about yourself:
Your whole life shouldn’t be centered around the person with the mental illness, they most likely don’t want that either. In order to ensure you can help them, you have to have the energy. Without remembering yourself or taking care of yourself, you wont be able to do that. You are just as important and that’s something that cant be forgotten! And if they lash out on you, remember it is probably not your fault, so don’t take it personally. They might even apologize right after because of the guilt feeling. Also, if you go to this person when you feel negative, don’t stop doing so! Remember, they are still them, they just feel more comfortable with you now!
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It is hard to ask for help, so when it happens it is important that you are there. For both you and the person dealing with mental illness, rememeber this: it is okay, to not be okay.
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Here are some websites for more information about specific mental illness:
Depression: http://www.wikihow.com/Help-a-Friend-with-Depression
Schizophrenia: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/schizophrenia/helping-a-person-with-schizophrenia.htm
Bipolar disorder: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/where-science-meets-the-steps/201503/11-ways-help-friend-bipolar-disorder
Eating Disorder: https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/how-help-friend-eating-and-body-image-issues
OCD: https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-family-guidelines/