I’d like to be fully transparent here; I’m not writing this article from the perspective of someone who has conquered my academic demons. Like you, I have an intense desire to do well academically, and often it is detrimental to my wellbeing. But as someone who feels like they’re slowly burning out, and can see others around me burning out, I think that it’s something worth addressing and exploring. To any readers who find this relatable, I hope this helps.
What is academic validation and why can it be damaging?
Academic validation is the boost of confidence we get after someone tells us that we did a good job on that test, or the assurance you feel after receiving a good result on that essay you worked super hard on. Those moments are helpful, they keep us motivated and let us know that we’re on the right track.
However, when we don’t receive these moments of validation, our thoughts can spiral out of control. Am I a failure? What did I do wrong? What’s wrong with me? There is a lot of pressure from others to do well academically, whether it be from our schools or from our families. However, I’ve found that the person who pressurises me the most, is myself. We are our own biggest critics, after all.
Don’t get me wrong though, aspiring to do well academically isn’t always a bad thing. It’s good to want to improve and set goals for yourself. However, if receiving low test results feels like the end of the world, or if your unsatisfactory marks make you think less of yourself and your self-worth, if you’re burning yourself out and sleeping less to try and improve your grade, then Houston, we have a problem.
There are other important aspects of your life that are neglected when your main focus is solely on academic achievement, such as your mental health, physical health and your social life. While these things may seem less worthy of prioritisation, they’re all equally important (if not MORE important) for maintaining a happy balance in your life, as well as keeping yourself sane.
Without further adieu, here are some tips that have helped me along my continuous journey to academic self-acceptance:
1. Pick up some new hobbies
Wait, before you scroll past, hear me out! I know you don’t have a lot of free time, but I promise this is helpful.
It can be hard not to tie our self-worth to our grades, especially when we spend so much of our time on academics. Because of that, a great way to move away from this mindset is to dedicate time to pursue hobbies and activities outside of academics. I know this can be hard, especially when you have such a strong desire to do well, but it’s important to develop your identity outside of academic life. Trust me, it helps. The more you can prevent yourself from being fully consumed by academic pressure, the better you will feel about yourself.
2. Only put in 80% of your effort
A few months ago, while I was in the middle of freaking out over some essay I had to write, my partner turned my attention to a video by the vlogbrothers video entitled, ‘The Secret to my Productivity,’ which I still refer to when I get overwhelmed. In the video, Hank Green talks about how he manages his expectations of himself, saying that instead of aiming to put 100% of his effort into a project, he puts in 80%. These are his reasons why:
- The perfect project doesn’t exist
Everybody has a different idea of what perfect is – this perception of what is perfect is subject to change. Basically, the idea of the ‘perfect’ submission isn’t set in stone, rather it is subjective, and is therefore impossible to reach.
- Chasing perfectionism creates an unnecessary amount of stress
While it seems worthwhile to apply 100% of your energy, or even 120%, this places an enormous burden on your shoulders. If you try to create something perfect, you will most likely drive yourself mad chasing different viewpoints of what ‘perfect’ is.
For these reasons, I’ve found it much more realistic to put in 80% percent of my effort instead of 100%, as this is more achievable and creates much less pressure on myself. Once I realised that a flawless project is impossible for anyone to achieve, the task became much less daunting. Plus, 80% is a lot of effort! You will still succeed in getting the marks you’ve worked so hard for, without burning out in the process.
3. Don’t overwork yourself
According to The Medium, “There seems to be a misconception that in order to be the best of the best, you need to struggle as much as possible. Otherwise, you have no value, or you don’t deserve whatever success you do manage to achieve.” They continue by stating that “we, as human beings, have a tendency to equate struggle to success, and success to value.”
I think that this is a universal feeling for many students, that if you aren’t tiring yourself out pulling all-nighters and if you aren’t falling over from exhaustion, you aren’t working hard enough. Often, we do this because it seems to be a huge part of student culture, so if we aren’t doing it, it seems like we aren’t willing to put in as much effort as everyone else. But this mindset and practice of working through the night until early hours of the morning, on a regular basis, will leave you burnt out and feeling worse.
If you are struggling with exhaustion, this doesn’t guarantee success and could even have a negative impact on your academics. Take breaks and see your friends. Your mind needs breaks and sleep to be productive, and you will feel much better for it. You don’t need to struggle to succeed.
4. Be kind to yourself
Sometimes you can’t hand in your best work, and that’s okay. Maybe you’re sick, or you haven’t been feeling yourself lately, or maybe you have personal circumstances that are getting in the way of you studying for that test. Or perhaps you’re burnt out, or you’re overwhelmed. But that’s okay. That test isn’t worth more than your wellbeing, and it’s important to prioritise and take care of yourself. That test doesn’t define you; you are worth more than just a number. We can’t put our best foot forward all the time, you don’t need to feel guilty about it.
5. Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes
When you are overwhelmed by the expectations you have for yourself, take a step back to remind yourself that you are a person, and it’s okay to make mistakes. Our mistakes don’t define us. Our grades have no bearing on our self-worth, and they don’t reflect our work ethic or overall intelligence.
And as a final message, I know that changing your mindset is no easy task, it doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Overcoming a need for academic validation takes time and practice, and I’m still working on it myself, but I want to assure you that it is possible. Let’s end off with some words of assurance:
Your self-worth is not determined by the numbers you get back on your tests.
Nobody is going to think less of you because of the marks you get.
You don’t have to feel guilty for not working as hard as you think you should have.
You will still be successful, even if you fail that one test.
You aren’t a bad student if you take breaks, breaks are important.
You don’t need good results to feel good about yourself.
And if you don’t believe me, I hope that you will someday. I believe in you.