Overstimulated and busy: do we actually know how to rest?

Have we lost the art of relaxation, and how do we get it back?

Two years ago, I read the best-selling memoir Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, and amongst her heartfelt stories of travel and self-exploration, I read a paragraph that stuck with me. While Gilbert was in Italy, she observed how much better the Italians were at resting and how many of us “have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure. Ours is an entertainment-seeking nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one”. This caused me to pause for a beat; was she right? Are our ideas around relaxation and pleasure skewed by the fast-paced, overstimulating 21^st-century world we now occupy?

Fast-forward to the beginning of 2024, when I spent most of my nights climbing into bed after a long day of lectures and an even longer day of waitressing and scrolling through Instagram for hours on end. Amongst the reels and the stories, I remembered Gilbert’s words and asked myself, yet again, whether I actually knew how to relax and enjoy myself without being preoccupied.

Now, before I go on, I want to acknowledge that it doesn’t make you the worst person in the world to enjoy being on your phone. I love my fair share of Instagram and Netflix as much as the next person, but what if we tried to incorporate other forms of rest and pleasure into our lives as well? And that’s exactly what I set out to do.

Returning to the theme of Eat, Pray, Love, Gilbert talks about an Italian expression called “Bel far niente” which means “the sweetness of doing nothing”. This is an interesting notion to me, a type-A Capricorn whose biggest fear is having nothing to do. What if we attempted to just sit with ourselves? Perhaps lie in the sun and read? What if we didn’t have a page-long to-do list every Sunday? This may sound simple, but considering our society’s obsession with productivity and busyness, slowing down and intentionally partaking in an activity you enjoy is quite radical.

If you start looking, the concept of an unplugged and peaceful downtime crops up all over the world. Alongside “Bel far niente” from Italy, there is “Niksen,” the Dutch concept of doing nothing, or even “Ikigai”, the Japanese notion of living a passionate and joyful life.

But all this information isn’t very helpful if you don’t have a clue as to where to get started. As an aforementioned Capricorn with very little natural ‘chill’, I’ve listed some simple and easy techniques you can use to try and relax. I still have my moments of feeling overwhelmed and as though I barely have time to do what I need to do, let alone rest, but I’m slowly learning that the trick is to keep coming back to it. This year has taught me that even if you can only manage a few minutes here and there, or one pleasurable activity now and then – these small steps can help you build rituals of pleasure and relaxation.

If you only have a few moments and want to relax, you could try some deep breathing, meditation, yoga, or a body scan, as suggested by Harvard Medical School. If you have more time on your hands, you can take a page out of the Italian’s book and eat some good, local food with friends, see family, or relax outdoors. Some of my favourite relaxing habits are listening to music and drawing with my pastels, going for a walk and spotting five things I think are beautiful, reading in a patch of sunlight, or dancing to music alone. Whether you do all or none of these things, I at least hope you have gained inspiration to prioritize your rest and pleasure in any way you can. Now go and relax!

• #learning to relax
• #rest
• mental health
• overstimulation