While most people would say they get nervous or angsty before or during social events, social anxiety disorder would intensify these feelings of nervousness and lead to an intense fear of anything and everything social. Even doing something as seemingly insignificant as making small talk or eye contact can make one very uncomfortable. According to WebMD, social anxiety disorder is one of the most common mental disorders, but also one of the easiest to overcome. Social anxiety goes beyond general shyness or nerves and while intensely discomfiting, it is a disorder that can be controlled with various tips, tricks, and social strategies.
1. Be patient with yourself
The most important thing to remember when starting your journey to becoming more socially comfortable is to take it one step at a time. Know what kind of social events or situations are more manageable for you and tackle them head-on first before diving into bigger social situations. Know that you will eventually be able to build up to bigger situations and that it takes practice and patience with oneself to overcome them. Doing too much too early will just inevitably cause more anxiety.
2. Prepare
For most social situations we can predict what we might expect to happen and who we’d expect to see, so being able to prepare and plan ahead for such interactions will significantly decrease pressure before the event and lower levels of anxiety. We won’t be able to plan for everything, but the more we do the more in control we’ll feel, and eventually, it won’t feel like preparation anymore but rather a strengthening of your social muscles.
3. Identify and challenge your negative thoughts
Negative thoughts of self-doubt and insecurity plague most if not all social anxiety sufferers according to helpguide.org. These thoughts contribute to social phobia and can leave a sufferer feeling inadequate, defeated, and small. Identifying when these negative thoughts occur and countering them can help with achieving a good level of self-confidence needed to overcome anxiety. The best way to combat these thoughts is by talking back to them or asking yourself questions. For example, if the thought: “They will realize I’m nervous and I’m going to seem incompetent” pops up, you can ask yourself “Even though I am nervous, will they really think I’m incompetent?” This allows you to look at the situation logically and come up with realistic and more positive answers, thus building confidence!
4. Improve your physical health
According to WebMD and verywellmind.com improving both your physical health and controlling your breathing are key factors in regulating anxiety. Cardiovascular activities such as jogging aid in muscle relaxation and people who jog regularly have been shown to have lower levels of anxiety. Even if intense cardio-heavy activities aren’t to your liking, other muscle-relaxing exercises such as yoga or simple stretching have the same relaxing effect and can drastically improve your mental state. Yoga also trains breath control, which can aid social anxiety sufferers in emergency situations.
5. Practice small acts of kindness
While the link between acts of kindness and social anxiety might not be totally clear, it makes a lot of sense when we go into the studies about it. According to healthline.com, 115 college students living with social anxiety were able to reduce their desire to avoid social situations by performing small acts of kindness within the span of 4 weeks. With social anxiety comes the fear of inadequacy and rejection, which is easily combatted with small acts of kindness. These acts bring about positive social outcomes that eventually make interacting with other people much easier.
6. Congratulate yourself on every achievement no matter how small
Arguably the most important item on this list. Acknowledging all your achievements throughout the process will dramatically improve your mental state, whether by writing each small win down in a journal or simply giving yourself recognition silently throughout the day. This will remind you of the progress you’re making, which will only give you the motivation to continue improving yourself.