This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UFL chapter.

Why are guys obsessed with boobs? What do they really look for in a relationship? And what do they think of all those selfies you post on social media?

Those are a few of the many questions we want answers to but don’t really have the guts to ask. Instead of cutting to the chase, we overanalyze every word spoken, text message sent and gesture made from the other species we call men.

Our choice to overanalyze leads to feelings of paranoia, confusion, and frustration. To make matters worse, guys start associating words like “crazy,” “psycho” and “stage-five clinger,” to us for our innocent curiosity.

But the truth is: we’re at fault, too.

We’ll probably never really understand guys, and they will most likely never understand us either. Regardless of this nearly impossible mission, we’re still curious to know what goes on in their brains. Well ladies, this week I took one for the team and went on a hunt for answers. I spoke to 100 guys and asked them each a different question we’ve been dying to know the answer to…

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Now remember: each answer doesn’t apply to the entire male population, but it was still interesting to hear what they had to say. If you don’t feel like reading through the whole list, here’s the moral of the story in three points:

Guys aren’t as complicated as we make them out to be. If you have a question, ask them. Is something bothering you? Tell them! We aren’t mind-readers, and surprisingly neither are they.
Personality beats looks any day. Work on your inner beauty and let it radiate on the outside.
Guys haven’t even figured themselves out—focus on yourself.

Take a look at what these guys had to say:

What do you notice about a girl first? “Her smile… If she has a gorgeous smile, she’s worth a million bucks.” – Juan D., 23
What’s a deal breaker when talking to a girl you’re interested in? “Tattoos are generally a deal breaker for me. They can be cute, but to me, that’s a sign a girl is too willing to make a long term commitment without really thinking of the consequences down the road.” – Ben B., 21
What makes you want to date someone? “Personality; if a girl is sweet and has a good sense of humor. I have to be physically attracted to her, too. I like someone who is her own person — not a follower.” – Billy D., 22
What’s your favorite quality in a girl? “I like girls I can relate to what I’m thinking of and understand what I’m referring to or talking about.”– Andrew A., 21
What’s your idea of the perfect date? “At a rooftop overlooking a nice ocean view and just a bottle of wine.”– Alex B., 22
What makes you crazy about a girl? “First her personality. If she’s smart, has a sense of humor, is cool; Her body is second. She has to be within perimeters.” – Zak V., 19
What’s the worst thing a girl can do on a date? “One of the worst things a girl can do on a date is talk about past boyfriends. Whether we’re already dating or about to date. I don’t want to hear about what you did with other men or how they were better or worse than myself.” – Blair M., 21
How do you show a girl you’re into her? “Ask questions about her and make her the main focus of the conversation. Also give her my full attention, so she knows that I genuinely care about what she is saying.” — Chase W., 20
What’s your take on girls asking guys out? “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. I actually think it makes meeting someone a lot less complicated because it automatically shows the woman is interested and cuts out all the beginning stress in how the man will approach the woman.”– Christian L., 21
What characteristics make a girl “girlfriend” material? “No one is perfect, but I look for the complete package. I first have to be attracted to her. Then after that, is there substance to her? Is she a Christian? Does she have morals, values, convictions like mine? Do I think about her and want to do things with her and for her (nothing sexual). Do I enjoy spending time with her? And if yes, then I want to give it a shot with her. A big thing for me is if she’s a Christian and do we have some sort of foundation of being able to talk and interact. Not saying having to go as far as being friends first, but we definitely have to have some sort of chemistry.” – Jason S., 22
I love a girl who can…. “… Make a night in just as much fun as a night out.” – Billy B., 24
What makes a girl less attractive to you in conversation? “Body odor, overwhelming eye contact, and if she doesn’t listen.”– Connor H., 20
What makes a guy want to date a girl and not just hook up with her? “Most guys like a challenge — someone who makes them work but not too hard. Also, I wouldn’t want to date a girl that is out every night entertaining multiple people, and a lot of times, guys know which girls are good girls based on their reputation or what you have heard.”– Casey P., 22
What are three things you hate that women do in relationships? “Not being upfront and saying what is wrong by mixed signals. Also, talking about babies in early stages of a relationship and acting helpless for easy things.” – Jamahl H., 21
What are some topics you hate girls talking to you about? “Shopping, guy problems, and gross stuff, like tampons and whatnot.” – Corey B., 20
What’s one thing you wish girls knew? “It’s a huge turnoff when girls give off the materialistic vibe. Women should invest in someone for who they are and what they stand for, not what they have or can provide you.” – Random Dude at Publix Who Did Not Want His Name Published, 20
What would you say is the foundation to any relationship? “Humility. Sometimes you gotta go to a sappy play when you’d rather watch football or hangout with her and watch a rom-com when you’d rather go out with the bros. It shows her you care and shows you’re willing to put time with her above your own wants.” – Richard J., 20
I like when a girl…” “… is real and doesn’t put up a front or tries to be someone she’s not.” — Glenn C., 19
A girl should always… “… act like a lady!” — Eric F., 20
Where do you like to meet girls? “There really isn’t a specific place I prefer to meet girls. As long as it’s face-to-face and not online.”– Sean N., 21
What’s the best gift you ever received from a girl? “It was the day after my 18th birthday. She thought it would be fitting to take shots of Jager. Then she told me to close my eyes for a present, and I got a belated birthday blowjob. That was by far the best gift I’ve gotten.”– Jagger D., 20
I don’t like when a girl… “… judges me because she may think I’m like every other guy, and I’ve made it a priority not to be. A lot of women assume I’m conceited because I dress nice, use proper grammar, and work hard. They think I’m stuck up, but they don’t learn I love poetry; I love all those night conversations and all of that. They assume they know me and miss out on a classic romantic. It’s frustrating wanting to give her everything but not getting the chance because she thinks she knows all of me.” – Robert J., 21
How do you know you like a girl? “That’s a loaded question. When I enjoy spending time together, enjoy each other’s company, and see she’s interested. I won’t ask someone out if I don’t think she’s into me. That’s the best advice I can give. Give us the thrill of the chase. But never ever not show you’re interested.” – Sean B., 21
Do you think it’s okay to flirt with other girls while in a relationship? “To a certain extent. A compliment is innocent, and it should be kept to that. If there’s anything more, it’s a poor quality guy.” – Glenn L., 22
What are your thoughts on PDA? “Hugs, a few kisses — that’s all good. Tongues all over the place, asses getting grabbed… That’s too much.” – Jonathan I., 22
What are some deal breakers when talking to a girl? “If a girl is way too flakey, I’m not going to waste my time. If I make myself available, it shouldn’t have to take a herculean effort to find a time that works to hang out. I’m pretty good at getting back to people, but I’m also very busy, so it’s not attractive if a girl seems overly annoyed that you didn’t text her back right away every once in a while because that seems to show she doesn’t think you are doing anything important with your time, and it comes off as a bit over-clingy.” – Joshua J., 22
Where’s the best place for a first date? “I like grabbing coffee at a local coffee shop. It’s something really chill where we can sit down and talk and then go for a nice walk that way we get to know each other better.” – Eduardo S., 19
When do you bring a girl home to meet the family? “Never. Just kidding. After a couple months, I guess.” – Marc W., 22
What are some things you hate about girls? “I don’t really hate anything about girls. But I think it’s annoying when a girl only wants to hang out with her friends and won’t hang out with my friends. Also, it’s annoying when a girl is super conceited. It’s also annoying when a girl is clearly pissed off at something and won’t tell you what’s wrong… And duck face selfies are really dumb.” — Robert L., 22.
What are some signs a guy isn’t interested in a girl? “If you’re wondering why he hasn’t made the first move yet, he might just be nervous about being rejected. If you’re putting yourself out there and wondering why he hasn’t tried sleeping with you yet, he’s not into you.” – Josh W., 20
Is it okay to be friends with an ex? What are the rules? “I’m still friendly with all my exes. I guess the biggest rule is if you guys break up on good terms, then you guys can stay friends. Tt really has to be a mutual thing because if not, it gets weird, in my opinion, and once you guys become exes, there can’t be any lingering feelings or anything because then you’re just asking for problems.” — Jorge P., 20
I love women who can…. “… remain positive despite any negative outcomes or situations.” — Chris W., 22
What is a fashion trend you hate about girls? “Piercings; yes, a piercing on the lip or nose is acceptable, and ears of course… but some ladies I know have way too much and go overboard with it. I like a pretty face. Why destroy it with that many holes? You’re taking away your beauty, not enhancing it.” – Cody C., 22
What are your thoughts on sex before marriage? “There shouldn’t be sex before marriage. It takes away from the focus of building a bond of trust and friendship in a relationship and places it solely on self pleasure and sexual desires.” – Kyle Z., 21
What do you think of sorority girls? “I think they are stuck up, snobby, inconsiderate, and self-centered… But there are exceptions.” – Stephen K., 21
What does it mean when a guy says “I want to be friends right now because I don’t want to mess things up in the future?” “I’d say it means they are just using the girl for whatever they want or they could really be trying to end up dating her but doesn’t want to rush it.” – Mitch M., 22
Why are guys crazy about boobs? “I’m more of a booty guy, but I think guys generally like boobs because it’s just human nature. Men are attracted to the feminine qualities in a woman, and boobs are one of the main ones! I think for men there is also a great curiosity with boobs. They are normally always hidden, so when there is more cleavage, men tend to grow more attraction. It becomes physical and sexual for the guy towards the woman.” – Eddie Y., 23
Boobs or butt, and why? “Butt because it reminds me of sex.” — Mike G., 24
What’s your take on plastic surgery? “I’m all for it if its going to give a girl confidence and feel better about herself. But if she over does it with like lip injections, etc., enough is enough. I believe all women are beautiful in their own way. Some have beautiful physical sex appeal and can be complete snobs. Others have a beautiful personality but aren’t the sexiest rose in the bush…” — Jorge G., 19
What’s the sexiest thing a girl has ever done for you? “On my 22nd birthday, my now ex-girlfriend cooked an amazing meal for me. She surprised me with tickets to the Atlanta Braves’ one-game playoff. We then got back, and she walks out of the bathroom in an extremely sexy corset. The corset plus everything she planned for me that night was a huge turn on, and I found it all extremely sexy. It all built up to us having marathon sex that weekend — not just your normal birthday sex, but marathon sex. It was the greatest birthday a guy could ask for.” – Tyler, 24
What body type do you like? “Athletic. I love girls that can play sports.” – Michael C., 21
What do you do if a girl tells you she loves you but you don’t feel the same? “Honestly, if the feelings are not mutual, I would tell her. The worst thing you can do is play with a female’s heart. The decision would be in her hands whether she wants to continue the relationship or not. But everyone is different. If the sex is good to a guy and he has no emotional attachment, he might lie in order to keep having sex with that person. Men will say ‘I love you,’ because we know that’s what you want to hear.” – Paris V., no age given.
What is your fetish? “I’m boring, I like girl-on-girl.” – Niklas G., 23
Is it okay for a girl to be best friends with a guy? Why? “I don’t see any reason why it wouldn’t be okay. I don’t think a friendship should be restricted to gender. If a guy and girl are best friends, then that’s it.” – Marty P., 24
How would you feel if your girlfriend made more money than you? “I would feel happy for her success.”– Garrett G., 20
When you’re in a relationship, do you view each other as a team or as individuals? “When in a relationship, I view my girlfriend and me as a team working towards the same goal. In order for a relationship to work, both people involved have to operate as a team or it will fall apart.” – Mike B., 23
Would you move to another state for your girlfriend in pursuit of her dream? “I would because I would be more happy being with her than being apart.” –Robert B., 21
What’s your opinion of girls who go to bars to date? “A bar is another place to meet people. I don’t think it’s a bad thing, but at the same time, I’m not exactly looking for my wife when I walk into a bar. I’m just looking to have a fun night with whoever I’m with and meet people.” – Kyle B., 22
What role does religion play when you’re looking for a girlfriend? “Not a big impact at all. I wouldn’t mind what religion she was as long as she doesn’t force her values upon me or make anything difficult between the two of us from her beliefs — then it’s nothing major. I’m personally not that religious, but I know a lot of guys that have religion as their deal-breakers, so it all depends on your level of spirituality.” – Hakeem W., 19
Head to the next page to check out the next 50 question and answers!

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What’s your definition of a “slutty” girl? “A ‘slutty’ girl to me is one that has little self-respect, likes to sleep with different men repeatedly, and may have low self-esteem.” – Sebastian H., 23
What are your thoughts on sex on the first date? “I would not turn it down, but it sets the mood of a one night stand than an exclusive relationship. I would rather work for sex than to just have it given to me. That way, it feels like a reward instead of a privilege, making the act of sex much more enjoyable. It’s mostly a mental game, after all.” – Scott C., 21
How do you define “hook-up”? “Anything sexual beyond kissing.” — Pat S., 24
What’s your take on friends with benefits? “A friend you can release your sexual tension with while maintaining a friendly relationship.” – Chris W., no age given.
What do you think about girls who filter all their pictures on social media? “I understand that some girls like to express themselves creatively, but I believe in natural, unfiltered beauty and a lot take advantage of it.” – Krys L., 22
How do you define “sexy”? “Physically: a fit body. Someone who takes care of her body but isn’t afraid to live a little. Personality: awkward and sarcastic but with a sense of humor.” – Mariano G., 22
What’s your definition of “love”? “Someone you can be yourself with and be happy. Someone you like for who they are without wanting to change anything about them.” – Szilard J., 23
How do you define “beauty”? “I think beauty is more on the inside like personality wise. You can have the most gorgeous body or face to make you look good, but if you don’t have a personality with that, it’s just not right. I think the personality is what makes beauty, in my opinion.” – Dion W., 19
What do you think is the biggest misconception girls have about guys? “That we only find girls attractive just by the physical aspect.” – Nico R., 20.
What is key for a successful relationship? “The level of compatibility, emotionally and mentally. The best relationships are most often those whose partners are in love with one another’s thoughts, intelligence, and emotional fulfillment — not looks. Though a physical attraction plays a big role and will always be a plus, as any man or woman would admit to.” — Eric L., 22
Can guys and girls be “just friends” without deeper feelings? “No, unless you guys don’t have history.” — Moe M., 23
What romantic things do you like girls to do? “I personally like when girls are the ones to make the initiative for a night out. Usually it’s the guy who plans the dinner and date as a whole, but when the girl goes ahead and picks that one fancy place or her guy’s favorite bar and treats him… Major points.” – Jesse P., 20
What do you think girls overreact the most about? “When they are told to relax or when they don’t like the picture they took or the outfit they picked out.” — Brett S., 23
What does “sex” mean to you? “Connecting physically with a partner to gain pleasure of the sexual nature — having fun intimately.” — Nathaniel G., 20
Is there is significance behind buying flowers or is it just a way to get brownie points? “It really depends on the situation, but when I’ve gotten flowers for a girl, it’s never been about brownie points. It’s more of: “I really want to do something nice for a girl.” I don’t see it as a way to look better in her eyes but a way to show I care.” — Don B., 21
Would you risk your relationship for having a three-some? “No, I wouldn’t! Me personally, I’m more of a one woman type of guy, and if I am in a relationship, that means I really like that person and look at her as a long-term girlfriend or potential wife.” — Judah A., 21
What would you describe as clingy? “If they get offended or upset when I’m just trying to do my own thing and don’t necessarily want them around me while I’m doing it; for example, hanging out with friends or playing video games.” – Drew D., 21
How long should you date before having sex? “If you’re looking for anything long-term, sex on the first few dates is a bad idea. We like the chase.” – Hunter H., 21
What’s your view of girls going to bars? “There’s only three reasons guys go to bars: to get drunk, to meet girls, and to do both at the same time. Girls are the reason bars are fun; party on!” – Luke J., 21
How much texting is too much when in a relationship? “Hourly is too much. Guys need their space. A ‘hey what’s up?’ is okay every now-and-then, but emotions get very lost in texts. If you’re in a relationship with me, you’ve got me. I’m not going anywhere.” – Cruz D., 21
What should girls do more of? “Have more confidence in your natural beauty. Too much make up can be a major turn off.” — Don P., 21
Why do guys whistle at girls? “You might need to ask me a different question as, one I don’t do that, and two, I can’t whistle. Although I would guess that most guys do it because they’re confident enough to show a girl they find her attractive, even though only few women find it as a compliment and most find it rude/degrading.” – Stefano P., 21
Would you tell your girlfriend the truth knowing it will hurt her feelings or lie to her so she doesn’t get hurt? “If she asks, ‘how does this dress look?’ I would just tell her she looks beautiful because she feels good with what she’s wearing. If it’s something more serious like cheating, finances, feelings, etc, it should be definitely be discussed honestly.” – Juan P., 23
How many guys is too many for a girl to have slept with? “I don’t even like discussing those type of things. I like starting fresh with each girl pretending that they’re really innocent… but, I guess too many is two handfuls, and that’s a bit much I think.” – Kevin M., 21
When do you tell a girl you love her? “When it comes to the “L-word,” it’s something I don’t take lightly. I’m not going to use that unless I mean it, and I feel like I’ve truly met ‘the one.’ It’s hard not to say it back if she says it first though. I don’t want her to feel like she made a mistake for being honest about her feelings.” –Pat Y., 21
How do you break up with a girl? “That’s a hard question. There’s not just one way. It depends on the girl and the reasons for the break up. I guess there would be a lot of talking, but giving the honest reasons is important. I give hints; like if I had reasons to break up, I’d probably be less close — maybe see her less and eventually tell her, but I would put it off as much as possible.” — Pablo A., 22
What are your thoughts on padded bras? “I guess they can make girls look good if they feel more secure or comfortable wearing them. I would not prefer them because they add something that’s not there. But at the same time, most of the time, you can’t really tell.” – Mario L., 22
Do guys really care about what girls wear? “Kind of; like it has to be appropriate for the occasion, basically. Other than that, I don’t really care.” – Fernando B., 21
Does it make a girl seem easy if she kisses a guy on the first date? “No. If both people want to do it, why not? As far as being ‘easy,’ I think that’s an outdated term and anyone should be able to have sex if they want to/when they want to.” – Matt K., 21
What do girls nag the most about? “Not being able to find a soulmate.”– Juan V., 24
What do you find the most intimidating about girls? “I’d say the drive or determination to prove that she can be independent rather than the independence itself. If a girl feels the need to prove she can hold her own, a lot of times it will drive a wedge in a relationship. Simple acts of kindness the guy does can be seen as threats to a girl’s independence or a way for the man to prove that she needs him. The quote says, ‘behind every great man is a strong woman.’ There’s no reason why the vice versa should not also hold true.” — Andrew A., 21
What goes through your mind before you meet her family for the first time? “When I first get ready to meet a girl’s parents, the only thing on my mind is to be really respectful, to make a good impression. I’m nervous about the possibility of them not liking me and being completely rude.” — Alexander N., 22
What type of girls are you most attracted to? “Girls with their own unique fashion styles and piercings.”– Ernesto G., 20
How do you ask a girl to be your girlfriend? “First you have to do the usual dinner, and then I would take her somewhere we shared a nice moment or experience. After that, you say what needs to be said leading up to asking her out. That’s my general way of doing it. The tiny details depend on the girl, her interests, and her personality.” — Brandon F., 20
When is it okay to lie? “Typically never, but the more honest response would be: when the truth will cause more harm for the situation than good.” – Oscar E., 23
What are your thoughts on selfies? “They don’t need to be a daily thing for girls, and guys should never take them.” — Patrick W., 21
What types of girls do you like the least? “Girls who are too dependent. I don’t like when she is depending on others to get her through whatever it is she needs to get through. I don’t want to be the only one putting effort to make the relationship work.” – Corey W., 21
What does a woman’s feet say about her to you? “It gives me insight into their stress level at the current time. Maintained feet means that they are relatively stress-free whereas unmaintained feet might mean they are stressed out and have not had time to give a second thought about the appearance of their feet.” — Billy N., 21
Why does it seem like guys in their 20s are avoiding relationships? “A lot of guys in their 20s are worried about missing out on different things in life that they may not experience if they were in a relationship, like going out and meeting new girls like their single friends would be doing.” – Josh R., 22
In a relationship, when do you think it’s the right time to bring up marriage in conversation? “Never. I don’t believe in marriage. Relationships should flow naturally without marriage being an end goal. Being with someone you love is the end goal. Any other societal pressure shouldn’t factor in.” — Jimmy J., 21
What is something you have found girls think guys like but really don’t? “Being too forward and making too many moves on the guy. Nobody likes someone who is too promiscuous.” — Allen T., 18
How often do guys complain to their friends about their girlfriends, and what do you complain the most about? “Honestly, I don’t complain about my girlfriend to any friends. If we are having issues, I’d rather other people not be involved and work them out between us. The friends I have haven’t told me anything that’s negative about their girlfriends, but I know in high school some guys would complain.” — Shawn A., 21
What’s the most hurtful thing a girl can tell a guy? “You’re gaining weight, or you’re fat.” – Greg S.. no age given.
What are guys most sensitive about? “I’d say that I’m most sensitive when it comes to being hurt in a relationship. Never did well with breakups.” — Nick T., 20
Why do some guys cheat instead of breaking up? “Cheating is a lot easier than actually breaking up. I think men that cheat look for something that can satisfy them once again but still come home and [have] someone there to care for you. Breaking up means a possibility of seeing another man moving into your territory. To some guys, seeing your ex happy with someone other than you is the ultimate ego-crusher. Men that cheat don’t want to give up their comfort and power they have, but at the same time, want something new.”– Josh D., 22
What do men fear most about commitment? “We fear the possibility of being rejected, of putting ourselves out there, and feeling vulnerable and weak when we are supposed to be tough and strong.” – Justin G., 21
What would you say is a women’s No. 1 need in a relationship? “I would say emotional support. I think everyone is looking for someone who can accept her for who she is and be there for her no matter what.” — Ryan B., 25
How can girls tell if a guy just wants to hook up? “If the guy ignores most of the texts and calls the girl sends, [or] if he only responds back when he wants to hook up.” – Blake A., 23
What should women stop stressing most about? “They should stop worrying about how they look, and just be themselves. Lots of girls try to change themselves to a person they really aren’t.” – Boyan L., 21
Where do guys go to for relationship advice? “I ask my other guy friends.” — David P., 18
Girls have a “code”; what’s the guy code? “Guy code is a way of life that encompasses everything from girls to the color of your drink at a bar — texting, dating coworkers, wingmaning, going out as group. The easier answer would be to ask what we don’t have a code about.” – David C., 20

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100 Questions Girls Want Answered But Don’t Want To Ask

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