Immediately after that last slice of pumpkin pie is gone, it’s time for Black Friday. You know what I’m talking about. This is the American tradition in which shoppers rush to the stores to score — and sometimes even fight for — the season’s best deals. Black Friday can be a hectic experience for those who are brave enough to participate; some people get a little off their rockers in attempts to scratch items off their wish lists. If you’re planning on partaking in this year’s annual Black Friday festivities, then prepare for the craziness ahead by checking out this list of the types of shoppers you’re sure to see. Maybe you’re even one of them.
1. Go-getter momsThis is the type of shopper who won’t stop until she has checked off every item on her kids’ wish lists. She is constantly on the go in her minivan, hopping around stores to get precisely what she needs at the best prices. This mom is known for giving the best gifts because she pays attention to detail in order to fit the personalized needs of everyone in her life. The go-getter mom can be spotted wearing heels and her Thanksgiving dress with a Starbucks coffee in her hands at all times. Not only should you be on the lookout for this type of shopper, but you should also be intimidated by her.
2. The electronics wizThis is the guy who has saved up all year for the fancy new electronics that will be on sale during Black Friday. He has done his research and scouted out all of the stores he needs to go to. This type of shopper is usually a bachelor who shops for himself on Black Friday and waits until Dec. 24 to buy everybody else’s gifts. This shopper can be spotted exiting the store with a cart full of gadgets and only minor scratches from his competitors.
3. The campersThese people have prepared their whole lives for this moment. They are equipped to survive in a Best Buy or Target parking lot for days living off beef jerky and Red Bull just so they can be the first ones in the store. They are the ones who forget about the holidays and have their eyes on the prize. These folks can get rough if they need to, but because they have the advantage of being first, they usually can leave unscathed. You can easily spot these shoppers by looking for those carrying tents and lawn chairs throughout the stores. These guys get in and out before you even get the chance to get in yourself. They are the survivors — the real winners of Black Friday.
4. The plannersThis group of shoppers is made up of people who work together by assigning tasks to each member within their clan. Each member receives a list of items and is responsible for grabbing everything on his or her specific list. Not only do they have a plan, but they also have multiple backup plans in case the unexpected occurs. They have it all mapped out — who gets what, where the items can be found and where to meet up once the mission has been successfully completed. This type of shopper can be spotted carrying around walkie talkies and large maps. They have a game plan, and they won’t let anyone get in their way.
5. Cranky dadsThese are the fathers who didn’t realize they were going shopping until they woke up from their turkey coma only to find a to-buy list from their wife beside them. Lacking sleep, they often appear frazzled and unsure of themselves. Watch out for these guys because they’re known to get brutal… or perhaps as tough as Arnold Schwarzenegger in Jingle All the Way. They won’t let anything or anyone stand in their way of getting their kids’ presents and getting back to bed.
6. The people watchersThese are the shoppers who take part in the Black Friday chaos not because they’re on the hunt for something but simply in order to be entertained. These people are walking around in pajamas and are munching away on a bag of popcorn as they watch people fight to the death over a Barbie doll. They are merely the bystanders.
7. Bargain buyersThese are the improv shoppers who buy seemingly everything just because of the abundance of sales. This is the person who stocks up on toasters because they were a good deal. Bargain buyers are also known for being really bad gift givers — a toaster for mom, a toaster for dad, a toaster for everybody! You may not have asked for a toaster but you’re going to get one — because yes, it was on sale. These people are the type to buy you a gift and then cross out the sale price with a Sharpie so you think they spent more on it than they actually did. Most of their purchases are BOGO offers — one for them and one for you. You can spot these shoppers exiting Walmart with a full cart and a happy heart.
Whether you’re in it for a new flat screen or just to be amused, Black Friday can be an enjoyable time if you’re prepared. Be on the lookout for the cranky dads getting in fights, bargain buyers stuffing their carts and the go-getter moms making you look bad. Happy shopping, collegiettes!