You know how boys do that thing where they make it seem like every girl in the world is a psycho? Well, after realizing that I had one too many stories about the horrible things every boy I get involved with does to me, I decided to do some research. Was I the only one these types of things happened to? Why do boys act like girls are the crazy ones when some of their actions bring the definition of psychotic to an all-new level?
I asked some of my friends if they had any stories about terrible things boys did to them, and they had more than I could have ever imagined. So, the results are in: Boys are scientifically proven to be the #worst, and here are real life examples as evidence.
Catfished in Real Life
“It was Memorial Day weekend, and I went to a fraternity dayger, where I met a guy who said he was in that frat. We spent the whole weekend together, so I invited him on our date function that next Tuesday. He said yes, and then I found out he goes to UCONN. He told me he lied the whole weekend about his entire life because he was tired of ‘telling his real story.’ I was catfished in real life.”
Stranger Danger 101
“One time, I met a guy at Midtown. He told me he had FOUR dogs at his apartment and literally used that line to lure me to his place. Not only did he have zero dogs, but he also had a stripper pole in his living room.”
The Best Boyfriend
“My best friend hooked up with a guy and then found out that he gave her an STD. When she told him that he should go get checked, he said ‘Okay, thanks, but can we keep this between us? I have a girlfriend.’”
“I’m never hooking up with you ever again.”
“I had been hooking up with a boy for almost a year, and we suddenly stopped talking as much. The boy then blocked me on Snapchat not one but two different times. He told my friend, ‘I just need to stop talking to Ann*,’ with no explanation of why. I saw him at Mid one night and he told me, ‘You just don’t get it, Ann*. I’m never hooking up with you ever again.’ I still don’t know why to this day.”
Formally Blacked Out
“I got set up with a random boy for my sorority’s formal, and he seemed perfect. He was so nice, and we were making out and dancing the whole start of the night. Well, he eventually disappeared. I was then informed that security had my date in custody because he trespassed, tried to hop a fence at the venue, was bleeding everywhere and was going to be arrested if I didn’t send him home. He lost his phone on his little adventure, so I had to pay for his $80 Uber ride. And he took 3 days to pay me back.”
An Impossible Decision
“One time, I was out with this kid I was hooking up with, but I was super tired and told him I was just going to go home. Well, apparently, he took that as an invite to go home with me and said, ‘I just can’t choose between you or more beer.’ I told him to choose the beer.”
The Consequence of Cutting in Line
“Freshman year, I went to get Pizza by the Slice, and this boy let me skip him in line. He was way ahead of me, so naïve freshman me was like, ‘Oh hell yeah, I’ll skip you.’ He decided to start grabbing my ass and touching me, so I turned around to tell him to stop. He says to me, ‘But I let you skip me in line!’ I told him I’d rather starve at that rate, and he responds ‘F*ck you, whatever.’ He waited a minute then asks me, ‘So, are we going home together?’”
“A boy called me poor.”
“This really rich kid kept asking me to hook up with him, and I rejected him but told him we could still be friends. He said, ‘No thanks, but it was humbling to hang out with someone from a different socio-economic background than myself.’ He still Snapchats me literally every day apologizing and asking to hang.”
Yes, all of these stories are real, and they are only a fraction of the responses I got to my post asking girls if they wanted to share the horrible things boys have done to them. With close to 300 comments on the post, I could literally compile a book of why boys are actually the worst. Boys… we can’t live with them, and we can’t… actually we can probably live without them.
*Names have been changed for the privacy of the individuals involved