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The opinions expressed in this article are the writer’s own and do not reflect the views of Her Campus.
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UFL chapter.

Hi guys, I have been procrastinating this article like crazy, but I’m sure with even one glance at the title (and what its capitalized words spell out), you would expect that,wouldn’t you? I’m going to be so honest when I say that when I was reminded of what I (yup, I did this to myself) pitched to write about for this week, I audibly sighed. Maybe it is that writing is an escape from my problems, so writing about them kinda goes against the purpose. Or maybe it is that opening up can be really, really hard. Regardless, I chose this topic, for a reason, and I guess I felt I had something important to say. So here I am on my balcony, in a hammock, bundled up in a divine cream blanket, enjoying the chilly breeze, ready to do the thing.I have thought about the various ways to approach this but could not truly decide, so I’m gonna sample each. Let’s call this a charcuterie article, a little bit of everything.

First, let’s get my personal anecdote out of the way. Point blank and period, I have been in a fencing match (sounds cooler than “struggling”) with mental illness for as long as I can remember. The beginning of 7th grade, however, hit me like a train. Out of nowhere, I started to feel intense anxiety: I could barely eat, was sleep deprived, and was just downright scared. This started my journey with therapy, and when I tell you that it takes years and years, I MEAN it. I am still very much a work in progress and am starting to accept that I might be one forever. 

So where does ADHD play into this? Well, I think it has been there since day one. I distinctly remember getting in trouble for my lack of patience in my early elementary days, and in 5th grade when I would go to my friend’s house after school, she would have this intense focus-I could never master- and have her work done in an hour and a free afternoon. Meanwhile, it used to make my mom so upset when I would come home and still have so much work to do. This pattern has continued: 7th grade speech and debate. I didn’t work on my speech in class (our only assignment, mind you) for months and got in front of the class with NOTHING. Eighth grade study hall was just me staring at the screen and picking my scalp. Ninth grade, I stayed up till 2am studying for exams because I left it all to the last minute, or I cried to my mom because I felt so stupid for missing an assignment. 

I’m not going to list anymore examples, but as I got older, my friends would hint to me having a little (not so little at all) thing called ADHD. I have found out that it affects your every way of functioning, fun! However, I ignored this because “I had too many letters already” – ex. OCD. I also didn’t need to, I was doing well in school (my counselor once said that straight to my face). In reality, I was just running in circles, exhausting myself to perform in a normal way.I was not okay, but my grades were, so I ignored it. Then college happened, yeah, slap in the face! I could no longer ignore the obvious dysfunction in my way of operating and thinking. So, I fought for a diagnosis and am scheduled for official testing. Regardless of my story, I know I am not stupid; in fact, my brain is so excited that it just wants to do everything all the time. But honestly, we do NOT live in a natural world. We live in a society designed for malleable, non-stop machines and the problem is- I’m not one of them. It sucks sometimes, feeling like I am what is wrong in the world, but I believe it’s not me; it’s an unnatural high pressure environment. I think I am designed to frolic, gather fruits, mix medicinal herbs, make grass baskets and watch the clouds. 

In the meantime, however, I am going to mold myself into what allows me to succeed in school and, I guess, deal with life as it comes. I’m going to keep telling myself that I am an awesome, fun, and productive person. I got this! You do too, and if you are a student at the University of Florida and want to get tested, reach out to the CWC.

I think I kind of ranted, but I told my truth. My love goes out to everyone who knows what it can feel to be different.

Meet Natasha, a dynamic sophomore at the University of Florida, where she’s diving deep into the world of business management. As a news writer for Her Campus, she’s on a mission to inspire readers with her passion for joy and knowledge. When she’s not navigating the realms of college, you can find her conquering the great outdoors through backpacking adventures or unleashing her creativity with a paintbrush. Natasha is charting a course toward a career in consulting, but her heart is also set on the wild side—dreaming of a life rescuing animals. In the years ahead, Natasha is excited to expand her horizons through studies in Europe, forge lasting friendships, and embrace every opportunity for growth. Keep an eye on this rising star—she’s just getting started!