I’ve always been a scatterbrain. School tended to be challenging for me, not because I didn’t understand, but because I struggled with staying on top of my work, severe procrastination and missing deadlines. I loved (and still do love) learning, but I often felt claustrophobic with the rules and specifications that teachers wanted me to use in my work. My ways of doing math or writing papers were very different from the ways we were told to do it, even if the end result was the same.
When I was diagnosed with ADHD in my freshman year of college, everything seemed to finally make sense. It was not an excuse, and I knew I wouldn’t have a perfect cure, but at least I had an explanation. I went on medication in hopes it would give me better mental focus, attention span, and perhaps be able to do small chunks of work throughout the whole day rather than doing it all at once in a spell of hyperfixation. Unfortunately, it didn’t help as much as I had hoped so my doctor and I decided to go the no medication route, meaning I would have to learn to manage my ADHD on my own.
It is definitely an uphill battle every day. Sometimes I feel as though getting little tasks done is the hardest thing in the world and I almost have to bargain with myself to get them done. Laundry, in particular, is my ADHD’s biggest enemy. Whether or not I like it, though, there are some things that just have to be done (like the laundry). At least with my laundry I’m not on a specific time constraint, but school and work tasks typically must be done by a certain time, which makes things both easier and harder in some ways.
I have figured out that doing projects slowly over time just doesn’t work for my brain. The pressure of having a deadline looming makes me work better and faster, so I use that to my advantage. With that being said, I usually try not to wait until the hour before big projects are due, but I know if I start something a day before it’s due, then I can finish it on time and with just enough pressure. Knowing this information, I save myself a bit of time and stress by trying to do things the ‘normal’ way and just doing it in the way that works for me.
When it comes to rules and specifications of how to do an assignment, I certainly still struggle with wanting to do things my way. Luckily, college is more freeform than high school in that sense. They usually don’t want the typical five-paragraph essay written in one specific way that is either right or wrong, and oftentimes the math gets more complex so there are multiple ways to solve a problem. If there are rules to abide by, though, I try to get through that piece first so that I can enjoy the freedom of the project even more.
Of course, we cannot forget how ADHD impacts our mental health and the emotional aspects that come with it. There are too many details about that to include in one article so we’ll keep it simple. The emotional turmoil that often stems from my ADHD can be really frustrating, especially when I have work that needs to be done. My emotions try to get me to lean into the ADHD even more and avoid, avoid, avoid. Instead of giving into that, I try to find other routes to take. I try to give myself time to feel through what I’m going through, then get something done, then give myself more time to feel, then the cycle repeats. This way I am able to take care of the things I need to but also let myself relax.
I try to multitask some without overdoing it. It can be helpful in preventing myself from getting bored with the tasks at hand, but it also can lead to feeling overwhelmed. I find that I usually prefer to knock things out all at once instead of doing bits and pieces of everything. However, I often will work on an assignment for school and do various housekeeping tasks, like updating my LinkedIn or planning my courses for the next semester. Doing this helps me stay interested in what I’m doing without getting into a rabbit hole on another project.
At the end of the day, ADHD can feel like a big obstacle in my life. It’s not always easy to juggle school, work and volunteer positions all at once even without ADHD, and ADHD just makes it that much harder. Even in the face of difficulty, though, I know I want to push myself and I know I have to get through certain things to meet my goals in life. This is a me versus me battle, and I have had to learn how to fight own nature. Any mental health issues make life more challenging, but I think learning how to use your predispositions to your advantage is a game changer. The faster you learn to use your differences for your own good rather than fighting them is the day you can master your own mind.