I don’t typically spend my free time on my Tinder. However, I do love some good research, and what better place to research romance than in Europe? I didn’t make it to the City of Love for my research (so sad!), but I would say my research in Czech Republic and Germany went swimmingly. Okay, I didn’t actually fall in love so maybe not ‘swimmingly,’ but I did get another entertaining dating story to add to my collection.
Our trip began in the Czech Republic. I perused the Tinder market in Prague for a couple days, sending a few messages in incredibly rough Czech and, in turn, landing myself a couple men who wanted to teach me Czech. (Spoiler alert: I still can’t speak Czech). After a few days of relatively disappointing prospects, I was getting worried I wouldn’t have the “Before Sunrise”romantic adventure that I was aiming for, until I matched with someone rather unlikely: a finance bro from Michigan, of all places.
I hadn’t exactly anticipated going out on a Tinder date with an American boy in Prague, but hey, I wanted my “Before Sunrise”moment, and I was going to get it.
He invited me to go out, but there were a few key problems with this:
1) My parents weren’t thrilled about me going to a bar in a foreign country to begin with. But if I did go out, I would have to go with my sister and her boyfriend. No ifs, no buts, no coconuts.
2) Telling my mother I was going out with a guy from Tinder would be equivalent to me saying I’m going to willingly get in a kidnapper’s white van, so my sister, her boyfriend, and I would have to keep this under wraps.
3) I’ve never actually met up with a man from Tinder, so that in itself was getting out of my comfort zone.
My sister and I began to plot this adventure and came up with a solid game plan. We would level the playing field with Mr. Finance and have him and his friend meet us at the bar that we wanted to go to. We agreed that my sister and her boyfriend would stay at the bar, just in separate areas of it. Last, but certainly not least, my sister and I vowed to never tell my mom what we planned.
We make it to the bar, I order a mojito, and chat with my chaperones while we eagerly wait for Mr. Finance to arrive. A little while later, I catch a glimpse of a man who is undoubtedly in finance. Taller than I expected and very handsome.
I migrated to the table where he and his friend were drinking their rum and cokes. Much to my surprise, we hit it off really well, and his friend eventually ended up at another table talking to some girls. Mr. Finance and I talked about school and work, and then discussed finance and marketing at great lengths (which would probably bore some people to death, but I loved it). Along with good conversation, he was a decent kisser and very handsome.
Here’s the thing, though: I was genuinely amazed by how respectful he was. And yes, of course, respect is a bare minimum, but any young woman who dates the men of this generation will understand that it’s harder to come by than it should be. He was observant of those around us, made sure I felt safe enough to be alone while he went to the bathroom, asked if certain things were okay when we were kissing, walked me out, paid for my drink, the whole nine yards. He did tell me he grew up with older sisters, so I have a feeling that was why he was so respectful, but I was very impressed. Respectful guys are hard to come by in general, but it’s even harder on dating apps, and my expectations were low.
So, we have a tall, handsome and respectful guy with a good post-grad finance job lined up, and the whole night we joked about how we were perfect for each other. He even jokingly proposed to me with a Czech coin.
Naively, I hoped that we’d stay in touch. I didn’t expect to be ring shopping. However, I did think, “Hey, this guy is attractive, smart and respectful; I wouldn’t mind staying in touch just for the hell of it.” (And because part of me was loving the idea of the “Before Sunrise”romance). We texted minimally throughout the next several days as I went off to Germany and he to Croatia, but surprise-surprise, he eventually went ghost. He unfollowed me on Instagram, too, at some point between then and the time of writing this, which kind of made me giggle because he didn’t go all-in and unadd me on Snapchat.
Frankly, getting ghosted was 100% what I expected to happen. But what I expected is different from what I hoped.
Regardless of my expectations and my hopes, the film-style international romance is probably better left to the big screen. And as for Mr. Finance, he’s left as a LinkedIn connect and a story to tell my kids one day.