*Trigger Warning: This article discusses weight gain, body image and exercise.
New semester, new me, right? The beginning of a new school year feels a little like New Year’s Day. Everyone has their own resolutions and goals they hope to accomplish: Join this club, earn this grade, only cry once a week—you get the gist. For many college students, just being on a full campus surrounded by all 30,000 of your peers is an accomplishment in it itself. As a college sophomore, this semester feels like a do-over, a chance to experience everything college life has to offer.
To mark this semester as a turning point in my college experience, I decided to start going to the gym. Consistently. Pretty much every day.
And yes, I am doing this of my own volition.
Here is some background history of my relationship with the gym and working out: In high school, I did rowing for two years, which meant workouts six days a week, three hours a day. We did cardio and weight lifting. But in my junior year of high school, I quit rowing, and with that, I gave up the accountability of working out that comes with doing any organized sport. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I knew I wanted to stay active because that’s what you do, right?
Even still, I became self-conscious as I gained weight, weight that I was gaining because I wasn’t burning a crazy number of calories every day. I remember feeling almost disgusted with myself over the fact that I wasn’t as toned as I used to be, or that I couldn’t run as far without feeling out of breath.
So, I tried to work out and keep moving, but it was never consistent. One week I would run after school every day. The next week I was trying yoga and taking evening walks with my family. I was staying active, but I never felt as strong or confident as I did when I was training and competing in high school.
Flash forward to a month ago when I moved back to Gainesville for sophomore year. It felt as if my life as an independent adult was finally starting. A couple of days after I moved in, a few friends and I decided to go check out the gym. What I didn’t know at the time was that we were going to the weight room. During the few times I went to the gym my freshman year, I mostly used free weights and the elliptical machine. I never ventured past the lockers into the elusive room where all the guys went.
Not today. Today I was going in the weight room, where the serious people go to work out. The ones who can lift these insane amounts and know what they’re doing.
I felt like I was not fit enough to be in the weight room. As I walked in, I saw endless machines that looked very complex as well as men in muscle tees bench pressing the weight of a small elephant. The upbeat workout music playing over the speakers was broken up by weights clanking together and loud grunts.
But that’s not all I saw. I also saw girls working out. Girls getting strong. Girls lifting heavy weights with confidence.
As I followed my friends around like a lost puppy, I began to realize that I wanted to do these exercises. I wanted to be strong. And, I didn’t have to begin by lifting the most weights that I could. I just had to begin.
The next day I asked my friend if she wanted to go to the weight room again. She declined, saying she was busy.
Well, that put a damper on my plans. I could barely walk into the weight room with the support of other people by my side. How was I supposed to walk in by myself with absolutely no clue what to do?
I went back to that weight room the next day, even if I was completely clueless. I’m sure I looked like a rookie. I certainly felt like I was making a fool of myself. Going back to that weight room was scary.
But I did it, and I’m proud of that.
The next day, I went to the weight room again.
At first, I was obsessed with making sure I looked cool and casual, like going to lift weights was totally normal for me. But then I realized nobody can look causal while lifting weights. It’s hard; you make weird faces and sometimes you fail.
It’s only really been in the past week that I had thrown all my cares about looking good in the gym out the window. I’m getting stronger and sometimes that means a super sweaty face or an awkward exercise setup. (I’m looking at you, hip thrusts.)
In the past month, I have noticed changes. They can happen that quickly when you’re pushing yourself. I feel proud when I can add on more weight or when I do a new exercise correctly.
I’m still learning though. My form is not always perfect, and I still get anxious if I make a mistake. But I keep going back.
Strength training is changing my body more quickly than running every day or doing ab exercises ever could.
Now before you think that weights are just for men, let me address this. Lifting weights does not necessarily make you bulky. It makes you stronger and helps you burn fat more quickly, which evidently means you will start seeing muscles in places you never have. You start to become addicted to the feeling of being strong.
As women, we are often seen as the weaker sex. We walk in pairs at night and are wary of men that are too nice in the grocery store. Lifting weights will not make you immune to the everyday horrors women face. But personally, I have begun to feel a little less helpless and a little more confident.
Strength training is a source of empowerment, a way to set goals and achieve them and a means to boost confidence.
The hardest part is just getting started.
Here are some links to sample exercise plans and tips to help you brave weight lifting. If you’re nervous to get started, it always helps to bring a friend!