One of the first memories I can remember from my childhood is walking through the underground cave section of the Florida Museum of Natural History, spending hours picking out every “hidden” stuffed owl, touching everything I could and pretending to read the actual plaques of information.
Nostalgia hits you like a truck during college. It’s really the first time in life where you have to come to terms that nothing will ever be the way it was 10 years ago, 5 years ago and maybe even a year ago. Now, that can look a little different for everyone. And I’d say mine looks different from a lot of people’s.
I grew up in the same city that I go to college in. My freshman year, I moved approximately 15 minutes from the house I grew up in. After I got accepted to UF and decided that it was where I wanted to spend the next four years of my life, I found myself having to come to terms with the fact that I would never get the “college experience” of exploring a brand new city.
Little did I know that within the next two years of college, I would be proved wrong over and over and over again. Since my time at UF, I have seen my childhood hometown be transformed into a town that sometimes is barely reminiscent of it. New construction has changed the landscape of Gainesville, especially around UF and Archer Road. The lot The Standard was built on used to be a empty lot for years that was only ever used for parking on game days. The entire area of the new Butler North and Celebration Pointe was completely wooded with only a single trailer park. I mean, they even built a whole new interstate overpass just to get to the Bass Pro Shop.
I’ve lived in Gainesville all 19 years of my life, and I am just as confused driving around on Archer as everyone else. I never expected to see so much change happen in Gainesville, let alone be sad by it. Thinking about something as small as them building a new roundabout in a road makes me emo.
I still remember the day when I saw the the old, abandoned Sonic replaced with a brand new Audi dealership. And even though that Sonic had been closed down for years and a new one was added  a five minute drive away, I still found myself being protective over it.
Here’s the thing: I wouldn’t say I don’t like change, but sometimes it’s really sad when you see something you never thought you’d miss be gone. I never thought I would be sad that a place I love is finally getting the facelift it desperately needed.
So this is me, trying to come to terms that my fantasized, dealy-missed childhood Gainesville doesn’t really exist anymore. However I do get glimpses of it when I drive by Skate Station, the same Skate Station I met Tim Tebow in the first time, or when I walk in Leonardo’s, the same Leonardo’s that I had conversations about med school with my dad (lol).
Maybe some of it is the physical stuff: the changing buildings, the new businesses. But maybe some of it is that I don’t play the same role in Gainesville that I did 10 years ago. When I was nine, I mostly took my dogs to the park by my house to walk them around with my dad. But now, I’m that poor college student like everyone else who goes to Target at 10:30 p.m. even though they don’t need anything.
It’s hard to let go of anything. For me, it’s my expectation of what Gainesville was supposed to be. It was supposed to be a haven for me when all else was crazy and confusing; through all the inconsistencies of college, knowing everything was there in Gainesville was the one thing that I could hold onto.
Have you ever watched old home videos (that were probably converted from VHS to DVD) with your family and looked at how happy your younger self was? And for a split second you’re jealous of your five-year-old self because they’re living a better life than you, but then you realize that it was a different time? Sometime I look at my relationship with Gainesville and can’t help but think about it like that. I always think I miss the “old” Gainesville too much but remember that Gainesville is just growing as I grow.
So, yeah, maybe I can safely say R.I.P. my childhood Gainesville, you were loved. But now it’s time to party in the new and improved Gainesville because not only are we getting a Whole Foods, we are getting a Nordstrom Rack.