When it comes to college, there are generally two spheres that I place my life in: social and academic. As a freshman, it can seem daunting to try and find success in both areas. From avoiding the dreaded “Freshman 15” to tips on making new friends, to transforming your tiny, cinder block dorm room, there are ten thousand people telling you ten thousand different things about college. It can be overwhelming. But, the simple truth is surviving college is only as complicated as you make it.
In truth, I had a difficult time deciding what to write here. People come to UF from various different backgrounds and have wildly different experiences. Some people live on campus, some off. Some come here and know nobody, some come here with half of their high school’s senior class. Some people love their major and immediately become involved with 15 different clubs, while some are at a complete loss of what to study and spend the first year incessantly panicking. How am I supposed to give advice that can apply to the vast majority of college students? Honestly, I can’t. Nevertheless, I do have one overarching sliver of advice that I’ve always ended up circling back to since middle school: just relax.
What I’ve found, not just at UF, but with life in general (in my extensive 19 years of experience) is that things often have a way of falling into place. Your life, especially in college, will eventually start to make a lot of sense if you just give it some time. You’ll find your people. You’ll find the right clubs to join. You’ll find a major that suits you and eventually, you’ll find a job that works out. I can almost guarantee that what may have seemed hopeless, futile and eternally bleak in your first few weeks will start looking a little brighter come spring semester. Though, you have to give things time and yourself the space to adjust.
Although I loved UF almost immediately, I still experienced the same struggles that a lot of other students do, especially imposter syndrome. I knew I was a good writer going into UF, but I also knew that everyone else in the J-school was as well. I knew I loved journalism and reporting, but I also second guessed my work ethic and capability. I knew I wanted to work within sports, but I didn’t know exactly where I’d fit in within that realm. I eventually learned that you can’t let those things hold you back. At some point, you just have to jump in the pool and see how you do. What’s the worst that happens – you don’t do well? You miss a deadline? You realize that whatever you’re doing may not be right for you? So what?
Something I didn’t immediately understand when I got to UF was that most people feel just as nervous and confused. I remember after my first month in school, I was baffled as to why within a few weeks, it seemed like everyone around me already had 5 different newspapers they were writing for, massive groups of friends and straight A’s. At some point, I had a brief conversation with one of the girls on my floor about how overwhelmed I felt and she reciprocated that feeling. I felt better, but still unbelievably behind. I told myself that I was going to give it a semester, let myself adjust, get a better sense of what I wanted to do and then get more involved. I gave myself the entirety of my freshman year to focus just on my classes, to find a good group of friends that I could lean on and to have fun in college. Though, the looming anxiety of my limited resume remained.
When I got into my sophomore year, I made a personal promise to get involved, and I did! I applied for about five different magazines and newspapers, joined GroupMe’s (as well as actually going to the GBMs) and made a plan for how to accomplish my goals. All of a sudden, the things I’d been so nervous about became not only simple, but easily accessible. If you’re anything like me, I want you to know that waiting to get involved is OK! Maybe it’s not your best course of action, but your collegiate success will not be doomed if your resume isn’t a mile long after your first semester alone.
When it comes to the second sphere, your social life, I’m going to repeat my prior sentiment: you’ve got to relax. Everyone is truly on their own course when it comes to friends and relationships, especially in college. I know people who came in with their friend group from high school and stuck with them all year. I also know people who became best friends with those in their dorm hall. Some people join sororities or fraternities and that becomes their core group. I came into fall semester with a few good friends from high school and my roommate, a girl I’d vaguely known through swimming. By the second semester, she’d become my best friend and we’d formed a group of friends who I wanted to be around all the time (and still do). The fact is that certain things may take time, and sometimes, you have to just let them do so.
I’ve seen a lot of people mention how quickly things can change when you’re in college. One week, you’re fresh faced and just barely out of high school and the next, you’re sitting in a circle of people from your dorm room floor, giggling about the boys on your fourth floor and ranting about that one professor. I remember before college, the idea that I would make lifelong friends in school felt unrealistic. I knew that I probably would make friends and find a good place for myself, but I couldn’t picture it in my head. I just did my best to trust that those things would happen in time and ultimately, they did.
All this to say, you should still take initiative. Let things be, for sure, but don’t sit in the backseat of your own life. You are the driver, so act like it! It’s important to put yourself out there, even in small ways. Talk to the girl sitting next to you in your statistics lecture, make a group chat with your neighbors, invite people to your study room in Lib. West and hang out in the lounge of your dorm. Last year, I made it a goal to find a buddy in every class because even if you might not become best friends, you’ll at least have someone to text about the homework or complain with about the upcoming exam. Reaching out can never hurt. One should realize that the majority of people are always down to make new friends!
At the end of the day, it’s important that you put yourself out there, but it’s also important that you give yourself some grace. Allow yourself the time to adjust to college, to find where you’re content and where you’ll be the most successful. Most importantly, have fun!