As the holiday season approaches, I know all my long-distance couples are going to be missing their partner just a little bit more. Holidays can make us long for home, and more often than not, home is a person rather than a place.
Watching the changing season and all the seasonal decorations and activities around campus can be fun, but it is okay to be feeling a little homesick for that special someone too.
Here are my top three tips for keeping that spark alive and making your partner feel loved, no matter how far away they may be:
1. Make a routine
Reliance on technology may be annoying, to say the least, but in this situation, you can use it to your benefit. Sharing schedules through calendar apps like TimeTree, Google Calendar and Apple Calendar can help you both feel more in the know about what the other is doing. It can also aid in conversation starters when you share about your days.
Do not be afraid to set boundaries. You can discuss expectations of how often you both would like to call and text. Share your preferences for when it is an appropriate time to talk and when it is not acceptable. Although setting boundaries can feel mean in the moment, it will ultimately aid in healthier communication.
Create a schedule for when you can talk every day. Even if you do not have the mental energy to have deep conversations, making a routine to stay in contact on a daily basis can help your partner feel valued and like a priority in your life.
2. Keep open communication
As everyone knows, being far away can put a strain on a relationship. It is important to be extra patient with one another and be honest about how you are feeling. Keeping things to yourself out of fear of putting too much pressure on each other can lead to resentment and less understanding between the both of you. Communication is key, but how you communicate is what is most important.
Even if you are both typically sarcastic or passive-aggressive, those will not come across clearly in text or written communication. Be mindful of how what you are typing will sound and be careful to be clear in how you say things.
At the end of the day, it is about being vulnerable to maintain that level of closeness. Not being able to see each other as often or talk as often can be difficult. But the last thing you want to do is take that frustration out on each other or inadvertently offend each other. Make sure they know how you feel.
3. Make each other feel special
Miscommunication and distance can be challenging, but keep in mind the reason why you chose     to stay together. You obviously mean a lot to each other, so take time to show each other just how much they mean to you.
One cute idea is phone dates. Getting takeout and dressing up for each other as if you were on an in-person date can be a fun way to spend time talking together. You can also stream a movie and watch it together.
Another way to bridge the distance is by writing love letters to each other, specifically for special occasions like anniversaries, birthdays or holidays. Taking the time to write out these letters is a romantic gesture, and they can be a reminder of your love that they can refer back to on any day they need.
Similarly, sending each other thoughtful gifts can be a nice reminder that you care. Listening intuitively to things that they would like or want and just sending it to them is a good way to let them know you pay attention and care. And of course, have trips to see each other planned out. Having these dates to look forward to can help the time go by faster.
Love is a choice you must make every day, so choose to make it. Taking the time to do things to make each other feel special can help your relationship continue to thrive. Making a routine, keeping open and honest communication and making an effort to make each other feel special will allow your relationship to maintain its closeness and intimacy. Hopefully, you can enjoy your holiday season, regardless of how far away your partner is.