Something I always thought would be unattainable became a reality on Nov. 8
It was the 6th grade when puberty hit me like a truck, and I went from wearing training bras to a D-cup. Growing up, I could not wrap my head around this idea that women would spend thousands of dollars to get large breasts like mine. Eighth grade was when I had my first consultation with a plastic surgeon for a breast reduction, and although it scared me, I knew that eventually I was going to go through with the surgery.
From horrible body image issues to incredibly terrible back pain, I never found the beauty in having big boobs. It was something I later grew to accept as a part of me that I would not be able to change, but during the spring of 2022, I decided to look into the possibility of getting a breast reduction. After many appointments and consultations with different surgeons, I finally decided to book a surgery date. I was so conflicted going into this surgery because I had gotten so used to the life I was living, and I didn’t want to make things worse. With all the different people that I read about and listened to on social media saying how amazing it was, I still couldn’t help but think the worst.
I walked in the hospital as a H-cup and walked out a D-cup. The overwhelming relief or joy that I expected to feel wasn’t there, instead I was feeling an overwhelming emotion of sadness and emptiness. I have spent most of my life identifying with being the girl with the huge boobs. They were my reason for my pain, why I didn’t participate in sports and why I always sat out during family beach days. I finally looked like the girls that I would get jealous of on social media, and I couldn’t be more upset. I spent the first two weeks post-surgery in a depressive episode, and all I could do was get mad at myself that I wasn’t happy or appreciative of this huge opportunity I was given.
After Thanksgiving break, I finally got approved to go back to college and back to my routine. It was only when I got back to Gainesville and to all my friends that I finally understood all the reasons why I wanted to get this surgery in the first place. I went to PINK for the first time and was actually able to buy a bra from them. My family, friends and boyfriend were so supportive and hyped me up to the point that I believed them for the first time in a long time. This was the hardest thing I have ever gone through, but looking back, one-month post-operation, I can now confidently say that I have never felt this confident in myself and in my body. It was mentally and physically exhausting and something I would have never been able to do without my family, but it opened doors I didn’t think were possible. I wish I could have told that little girl in middle school gym class that your body is not the thing that defines you, but the thing that helps you become the strong, smart and talented young adult that you are growing into.