“Our lives are difficult. Our losses are great sometimes. So grieve. Struggle. Find your way back on your own terms and in your own way.”
I realized people grieve differently in the smallest of ways. For instance, when I get a bad grade on a test, I get very mad at myself. I put an intense amount of pressure on myself to outshine the rest on the next exam. I don’t let myself have fun, or watch TV or read endless pages of quotes (obviously my obsession) because I don’t deserve it.
My friend, on the other hand, rewards herself by going out and giving in to the fact that once something has happened, it’s over. Learn from it, move on, and live it up. I’ve been trying to be more like her. At the very least, it would save me some stress.
I also noticed how I “grieve” over the end of a relationship — I have my sad days when I let myself cry when I want to, and complain when I want to, and criticize when I want to.
You cannot move on from a guy without first mourning the end of the relationship. And mourning may sound like an extremely dramatic word, but think about it. You’re saying goodbye to someone you spent nearly every day talking to, someone you loved and cared for. It’s the end of a love story, and that is a sad thing for the most part.
So how should you healthily, effectively grieve? With my experience, I’ve learned to do it by loving outwards. One of the greatest things about being single is rediscovering how amazing my friends really are.
My best friend and I are the best we’ve EVER been. I say yes to things I normally would have said no to. The other night, I went to a party with my oldest best friend where I knew absolutely nobody. I was already in my pajamas when she called, but when I realized I had no real excuse to give her, I knew my answer had to be yes. I went and met some awesome people — thanks to my impulsiveness.
Finally, I seem to be successfully ending my grieving period from my past relationship. I can start to live excitingly, happily and optimistically again. I feel fresh and renewed — as if I’ve been recharging my batteries.
I’m taking pictures. I’m dressing up. I’m going shopping. I’m cooking meals. I’m watching movies. I’m sharing stories. I’m loving— outwardly — all the people, places and experiences I’m blessed to be having. In reference to an earlier post, I’m just doing me.
Take a deep breath, girl. I promise it’s sunnier out there than you think.
Xoxo,
QQ