This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UFL chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.
Trying new funky sex positions is great… until the morning after. Apparently, having a blunt object slammed inside of your body with all the force of another human being, while you are twisted up like a pretzel, is not good for your joints. Who knew?
So today, we are ranking sex positions from least to most likely to land you in the chiropractor’s office. Is this a what not to do list or a bucket list? That is for you to decide, you naughty lady.
- Spooning – It’s hard to go wrong here!
- Missionary – Your joints are safe with this one.
- Cunnilingus – Safe to receive, but might give you a crick in your neck if you give for too long.
- Cowgirl – Yeehaw! This one can be hard on the thighs and ankles, but it is easier to make adjustments since you are in control.
- Doggy Style – The direct smashing of someone’s pelvis into your backside is trouble, especially if you are arching with all your might.
- The Piledriver – Legs up and near the head requires flexibility, a strong neck and a great chiropractor.
- The Wheelbarrow – Requires serious upper body strength, core stability and faith in your partner not to drop you.
- The Amazon – Your legs are in the air, your partner is squatting over you and your chiropractor is booking a vacation with the money you’ll spend fixing this one.
- The Bridge – Holding a literal backbend while having sex? Bold. Your spine does not approve.
Do what you will with this information, just don’t come crying to me when you have to explain to a medical professional why your spine looks like a question mark.