It was the morning after the election, and as we sipped our coffee and scrolled through the headlines announcing a newly elected president, a quiet revolution was brewing. Women, it seemed, were making something abundantly clear: sex with men might just be passé.
I couldn’t escape it: 4B, the feminist movement that originated in South Korea in the mid to late 2010s. In Korean, bi means “no,” and the 4B principles — bihon (no to marriage), bichulsan (no to childbirth), biyeonae (no to dating) and bisekseu (no to heterosexual relationships) — represent a radical rejection of societal norms.Â
It was crazy how one night could flip a switch. I woke up that morning to a media frenzy. Suddenly, every scroll through social media felt like stepping into a battlefield of raw, unfiltered rage. Women everywhere were unleashing it — unapologetic, unrelenting. America had made its choice, and for many of us, the message was clear: men weren’t on our side.Â
It didn’t matter what political party you checked on your voter registration card or what ideology resonated with your beliefs; women lost that night. But what struck me wasn’t the loss; it was the response. Women wasted no time in crafting their comeback. The plan? Separation. Revenge. Complete and utter disregard.
So I wondered, is the 4B movement just a fleeting trend, or are we witnessing the dawn of a new chapter in the modern feminist playbook? I took my curiosity to campus in search of answers.
I started with SR, a recent graduate. She didn’t hold back:Â
If you genuinely can’t find a guy who’s liberal and consistently voted Democrat, then yes, don’t interact with men, but, honestly, that complete separation of genders results in worse gender stratification. In Korea, the 4B movement has really worsened the way women are viewed and treated. I think women should just withhold attention (physical and emotional) from men who suck lmao. On a personal level, I do really have hatred toward women who allow that kind of behavior to be perpetuated by not actively standing against it.
She posed a valid question: Are we taking it too far? And in doing so, are we hurting ourselves in the process? Sure, we’re angry — rightfully so — and withholding ourselves from the very beast that caused the pain feels like the most poetic form of protest. But maybe there’s a middle ground. A space where we can express our rage, demand better and still find a way to thrive without cutting off half the population entirely.Â
I then spoke to Dolly, a senior studying journalism:
I think the 4B movement is incredible and effective, but I also think it is intense. I feel like there are steps that American women can take to encourage the respect we deserve, but there aren’t 1000% no men if we would like. I feel like by not settling for shitty behavior while dating or having sex, we can force better behavior. I think there’s a middle ground that keeps women’s lives a bit happier, but by all means, cutting out men can be totally awesome if that’s your cup of tea. But ladies who would like to make an impact without fully going 4B can do so by raising their standards.
Abstinence can be powerful — I should know, I’ve tried it. But it’s not the only way to change how we’re collectively viewed and treated by men. Once upon a time, feminism was about sexual freedom — the right to have sex with no strings attached and not be shamed for it. So, where does that leave us now? Full circle. If not 4B, the least we can do is raise the stakes for men.Â
I turned to my friend Amelie for her take. Her response was cutting: “I think it’s great, but it’s only liberal women doing it, and they’re only avoiding liberal men… so maybe not that effective.” She had a point. How much power can this movement truly pack if it’s only targeting one side of the coin?
Mar, another senior journalist, shared her perspective:Â
While I am in a committed relationship with a man and won’t partake, I fully support the movement. I have been making an effort to decentralize men in my life, including my boyfriend, and prioritizing myself and other women.
This left me pondering the real question: Are we dumping boyfriends now? Some women have — and honestly, good riddance to the ones who deserved it. But is it truly necessary to toss every guy out with the patriarchy bathwater? Or is there room to reclaim the narrative without rewriting our entire lives?
While opinions may differ, one thing is certain: Women want change. We are willing to go to great lengths, jump through countless hoops, and even abstain from our own pleasure, all for the chance at a more just future.Â
This brings me to the heart of the matter: Is the 4B movement really about men at all? Maybe it’s less about not needing men and more about needing each other. Because no matter how often we’re let down by a lack of empathy from men, we’ll always find understanding in each other. Perhaps a little separation isn’t such a bad thing.
Whether you’re ready to go full 4B or prefer a softer rebellion, one thing is clear: women are rewriting the rules. And maybe the real revolution isn’t about shutting men out — it’s about pulling each other closer.
I’ll end it with the succinct yet potent response I got from Daphne, a junior studying accounting:Â
It’s been a long time coming.