Moving day has finally come. You pack up your things in duct-taped boxes, wave teary goodbyes to your loved ones and take one last glance at your childhood home. College is finally here! You now have all this freedom with no one telling you when to be home, what to wear or where to go. It’s all up to you.
But this freedom can be a little daunting, especially if you’ve lived surrounded by other people most of your life. As someone who grew up with two parents and two sisters, the change from a lively five-person household to riding solo was quite the adjustment.
Sure, when you live on your own, you can blast whatever music you like without headphones. You can stay up until the stars shine. But sometimes, it can feel isolating and overwhelming. Everyone loves to talk about all the fun perks that come with moving away to college, conveniently brushing off the negatives. However, there are real, tough emotions that students experience from the geographic change, so it’s important to know that if you’re in this single-rider boat, you’re not alone.
My sophomore year of college started during the peak of the COVID-19 pandemic. My roommate ended up dropping her housing contract to stay back home, leaving me by myself during a time already filled with isolation. Then, in the middle of the fall semester, my new roommate that was randomly assigned to me at the last second decided to also move back home.
I had never lived by myself before, and while it was partly thrilling to have a space all to myself, it was also terrifying. I had to navigate this new chapter on my own, but luckily, I acquired some tips along the way to make the transition easier.
- Do what you can to make your space feel safe
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Your home is your sanctuary. It’s where you go to decompress after a long day, and it’s probably where you spend most of your time. It’s important to make sure that you feel safe in this space that you call your own. Whether it’s double checking to make sure all your doors and windows are locked or keeping a baseball bat underneath your bed (my personal favorite), make sure that your home is an environment where you don’t have to worry about every small creak you hear at night. Safety should be the number one priority, and your home should be your safest place.
- Invest time into making your space your own
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You likely spend most of your time in your home, especially if you’re taking online classes. Make sure that your space is not only safe, but a pleasing environment to be in. If you love nature, get some plants to bring some extra life into your home. If you’re seeking comfort, get some fluffy blankets and plush pillows. Try to keep your room somewhat tidy (this is something I struggle with big time), because it makes things less overwhelming when you’re in a clean space. Making your home an enjoyable environment can help with liking the time spent there.
- Separate your workspace from your living space
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This is crucial. When spending a lot of time working at home or doing homework and online classes, it’s beneficial to keep these different spaces separate. Even if it’s just completing your tasks at your desk and not snuggled up in bed (I repeat: do NOT do your work in your bed, no matter how comfy it is), by keeping these spaces apart, you have somewhere to go when you need to focus or take a break. By not dedicating different spots for different activities, your brain might get confused and start to associate every place in your home with work and no places with relaxation.
- Make a budget
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If you’ve never been in charge of your own money before, it can be easy to spend the big bucks in a short amount of time. Observe the money you have in your accounts and create a monthly budget for the necessities — like bills and food — and then whatever income is disposable — for your next night out or that new pair of shoes. Put your budget somewhere that’s visible, like on your desk or in your phone, and keep track of what you spend in a month. Then, when it comes down to making the next month’s budget, adjust it to your spending habits. Maybe allow yourself to spend a little more on the fun and a little less on the necessities because they cost less than you thought they would.
Also, don’t just make the budget, but stick to it. It may seem taxing, but you’ll be grateful when you aren’t gasping in shock when you look at your next credit card statement.
- Don’t be afraid to reach out when you feel lonely
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I’ve saved the most important tip for last — reach out to your loved ones whenever you feel alone. Last year, I went days without interacting with anyone because it was easier not to. I cooked at home, did my classes at home and worked out at home. But it drove me up the wall not talking to people, resulting in the creation of many TikToks (and I mean MANY). Just calling one of my friends made me feel revitalized. I realized how vital human connection is to our health (both mental and physical.
Don’t be afraid to send that text or make that call. Trust me, you’re not annoying anyone. Check in with yourself to make sure that you don’t feel withdrawn. Just because you aren’t sharing a home with someone doesn’t mean that you’re completely alone. It’s easy to feel this way when you’re constantly by yourself, so make sure that you try to maintain your relationships.
When I lived by myself, it sometimes felt soul-crushing to walk into the next room and not have anyone there to talk to. It took me a long time before I told my friends and family how I was feeling, because I didn’t want to bother them. But once I did, I felt so much better. They’d reach out and check on me to make sure that I was OK.
So, have those conversations with your loved ones, and come up with a plan to see or talk to them regularly. Being social is just as important as getting your work done.
After reading these five tips, don’t forget: there’s a lot of people who’ve lived by themselves before and know exactly how you’re feeling. Even if you’re by yourself, you’re never alone.