The world of dating can be scary. It isn’t how it used to be when we could just ask out the person next door and instantly become an item. With the rise of dating apps and social media, we have limitless access to people and yet shooting a text asking someone out can be the most intimidating thing in the world. The chances of meeting your future partner in the grocery store (because reaching for the same bag of carrots is hot) or bumping into them and locking eyes on the way to class (which is also kinda cute) isn’t too realistic anymore.
But the best part is that while the dating scene is changing, we as people really aren’t. We are still craving that human connection and the thrill in life. So, if scoring a first date leads to either of these things, then we’re obviously doing it right still.
No matter your circumstances, there are a lot of ways to prepare for that first date. Here are some tips and tricks I’ve discovered that have been extremely helpful to making that first date a successful one:
1. Picking a Good Atmosphere
A first date location is super important to the vibe of the date. It’s smart to pick a place that offers things to do but try to avoid something that takes your full attention away. For example, a movie is not an ideal first date as you’re quite limited on conversation opportunities. Pick something entertaining that offers you a way to still get to know the person. Perhaps casual drinks or a trip to your favorite on campus hot spot. A good atmosphere is subjective to you and the person you’re taking out. If you’re feeling unsure, the best thing you can do is ask what they’re into and go from there. It’s important to simply find a common interest and allow yourself to have fun wherever you end up!
2. Prepare Good Communication Skills
It’s human nature to want to tell stories as well as listen to them. The whole point of going on a date is to get to know each other and find a sense of compatibility. In preparing for your date, take some time to think of some questions or conversation topics. It’s good to think of some questions that could help you better understand them as well as find that deeper connection. It could be simple questions like “what is your favorite tv show?” or “what do you like to do in your free time?” From there, you can progress the conversation if the energy feels right. At the end of the day, conversation should flow naturally and with a little bit of thoughtful consideration, you’ll feel far more prepared going into the date.
3. Don’t Change for the Date
I cannot stress enough how important it is (and as corny as this sounds) to be yourself. When going on a date, it can be so easy to act like someone we aren’t to impress the person we are taking out. It’s good to remind yourself that they are going on a date with you for that exact reason: to go out with YOU! There is no sense acting like anyone else when you are the person they want to spend time with.
4. Reflect on What You Want
In dating, it can be fun to go out and explore connections with various individuals, but it’s also good to take the time to think about what you truly want out of a partner. Consider making a list of traits, characteristics as non-negotiables you have for a relationship. I promise it will allow you to see your feelings and thoughts more clearly. It can be difficult to get caught up in the excitement of a new experience. What we want might not always be what we need (sadly). Ensure you are doing what you feel is best for you at the moment. You deserve the affection you want and taking the time to be honest with yourself is a huge step in the right direction.
Overall, dating should be a fun experience and it’s important to not put so much pressure on yourself. The experience is about exploring and finding someone who you feel is right for you. It can be messy and confusing and sometimes ends quicker than it starts. It’s good to go into it all with optimism for the future it could bring. A friend of mine offered this piece of advice: even if it doesn’t develop into anything, it wasn’t time wasted.
Every experience we have is something we can learn from and how lucky we are to experience something as powerful and influential as feelings themselves!