“Toddlers and Tiaras” is one of those shows that garners a lot of criticism for showcasing children’s beauty pageants and their contestants. While we patiently await season six, here’s a few memorable moments that sum up the cringe-worthy competition:
The musings of children
If Bill Cosby taught us anything, it was that children, especially when presented with a camera say the weirdest things. At least the next time you babysit, you can rest assured that almost every child wants to grow up to be some sort of animal.
Interesting lifestyle choices on display
RuPaul is a drag queen, if you didn’t know. This came from the same mother that said she had her children specifically to make them beauty pageant stars. While some of these 6-year-old miniature celebrities have arranged their own mall concerts, many just have a shocking affinity for overspending on glitzy accessories to the point of bankruptcy.
Complete disregard for boundaries
Here is where the show draws criticism. Some stage parents who really, really want their kids to be famous are willing to cross some lines for recognition. It’s sometimes hilarious but almost always horrifying. If you have to ask the question, “Should I dress my 3-year-old up as Pretty Woman?” the answer should definitely be no.
Instilling values in our children
There’s always a debate over the value of beauty pageants. On one side, moms say the pageants instill confidence, provide for a future, and build good character. One mom has her daughter make and hand out goody bags to all of the contestants and refuses to shoot for goals other than doing her best. On the other side, the entertainment value takes over, and you see kids on diets.
Vicarious living from their own account
“Toddlers and Tiaras” brings a special perspective on parents who confess their motives of living vicariously through their children. Some keep pageants as a family tradition; some talk about opportunities they didn’t have; and, some point blank admit to wanting the recognition of being superior to others. In its best form, you can see girls who love what they’re doing, and at the worst, screaming infants being dragged on stage and crying over the sound of “Girls Just Want to Have Fun.”
Or the exact opposite…
For every competitive family hustling the pageant circuit, there is the reciprocal family that just doesn’t seem to want their daughter to win. One mom pits her twin daughters against one another and declares her favorite — “The prettier one, more like mommy.” The other daughter places higher in the show. Another totes her pageant son’s supremacy and barely takes note when her daughter wins the entire event. Things actually get a lot more psychological than you would expect.
Good old-fashioned people watching
This hardly needs an explanation. Bonus points go to the mothers who act out a full dance routine in front of a crowd.
And finally, coping mechanisms
Some will win, some will lose… Some were born to sing the blues. At the close of every episode, there are the winners and the losers. The winners are usually deliriously happy and rock crowns the size of their adolescent torsos, but it’s the losers who really make the show. The moms who don’t understand the awards process and convince their daughter she’s lost. Those who claim a judge bias toward brunettes, scream at the judges, or all out pick apart any little girl who dare place above their own on national television. It’s awful, but it’s so, so good.