College is a whirlwind of tests, parties, work, organizational obligations and so much more. As collegiettes, we are constantly surrounded by our classmates, fellow Gators, friends and significant others. If it’s not one thing, it’s another: a meeting to attend, an adviser to see, volunteering; so many things are constantly coming our way. So how often do we take the chance to slow down and be completely alone? I’m not talking about Netflix binging or walking to class with headphones in, but turning those things off and being alone with our thoughts. This may sound odd, but there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely.
Contrary to popular belief, being alone is not a bad thing in and of itself. Solitude should not equate to loneliness. If you cannot be alone without wishing you were surrounded by people, this may have some bad implications. Loneliness has been connected with low self-esteem. Individuals who cannot be alone and are always craving attention may not be as comfortable or fulfilled as they should be. Of course we want to spend time with our friends, but the need to be around someone 24/7 is unhealthy. This social dependence could be a form of social escapism in which you use other people to avoid things you don’t want to face. These things could be thoughts, studying or even feelings. And while difficult to look at, if these things are unchecked, they can lead to a tiring cycle that includes the constant need for social stimulation. So how do we get comfortable being alone periodically as opposed to being lonely all the time?
Go on a walk by yourself or journal your thoughts, and you will find that being alone can be self-reflective and very beneficial. Aloneness gives you freedom to think clearly and freely while taking a minute for yourself. Friends are the greatest, but the most personal growth occurs while alone. You learn to think for yourself and to determine what you really feel without social pressures or obligations. Try being alone for an hour or two this week and you’ll find that it can really help you see yourself more clearly. It’s like Ellen Burstyn, an actress in the new Age of Adaline movie, said: “What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be.”
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