Midtown Mondays are all fun and games until it’s 2 a.m. and, instead of being surrounded by your fellow scholars, you find yourself in a sea of middle-aged men wearing Gators gear and cargo shorts. Sadly, friends, I’m afraid this is your cue to call it a night. On your reluctant, yet somewhat triumphant stroll home, you feel a sudden pang in the pit of your stomach — a thirst that can only be quenched by bad decisions… the munchies. Midtown is a sea of greasy possibilities; however, the culinary adventure you embark on has more to say about you than you think.
Italian Gator Pizza (more commonly known as Pizza by the Slice) Ah yes, the classically cliché Pizza by the Slice. If this establishment is your meal of choice, then you’re a fan of good life decisions. You probably weren’t even planning on succumbing to your false sense of hunger until you were forced to pass it on your way home and ultimately surrender yourself to gods of reasonably priced cheese. Depending on how serious your relationship with pizza is, you might even spend a solid five or more minutes genuinely debating picking up and eating the slice you dropped on the sidewalk.
Pita Pit If Pita Pit is your desired sustenance, you have a cultured pallet that yearns for the taste of feta at ungodly hours of the night. Your stomach is also a bottomless pit — seriously, hats off to you if you can finish an entire pita. Or perhaps you’re drawn by the appeal of its large and spacious bathroom, which is able to accommodate you and five of your friends… or maybe even 10, depending on the level of friendship.
Relish If you go to Relish, your goal is to invoke as much pain and regret on your future morning self as humanly possible. If you dare cross the Mediterranean threshold of Pita Pit into the greasy and (charmingly?) dirty lair of burgers that is Relish, you have reached a state of utter defeat. Poutine sounds like a good idea for the first time ever in your life. If you’re a regular midnight Relish guest, then you might even be one of the five people in Gainesville that orders peanut butter on their burger.
Domino’s Pizza You’ve reached a state of pure desperation — you do not want, you need pizza as soon as physically possible. Ordering on your way home only to find that it still hasn’t arrived when you get there results in doing the only logical option at the time: walking all the way back to Midtown for Pizza by the Slice. Problem solved… kind of.
Gumby’s Pizza You’ve made it all the way home without giving in to the tempting seduction of Midtown’s most prized food establishments. However, after closing the door to your home, you suddenly find yourself vulnerable to the wild temptress of the night, better known as Gumby’s Pizza. To all pizza amateurs: tread lightly, for pokey stix are only for the true connoisseurs of cheese. Pokey stix are ultimately what every pizza lover gets when they legitimately just do not have time for sauce.
It’s nearly impossible to graduate from the UF without checking each of these must-have munchies off your late-night snacks bucket list. We can bet you have a favorite go-to option. If you don’t ever nosh at night, did you even go out at all?
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