I remember when everyone I knew used to make fun of TikTok. Right after it came out on the App Store to take over its predecessor, Musical.ly, I was almost certain it wouldn’t amount to anything. Nowadays, it seems like virtually everyone has downloaded it at least once.
Sometimes I think my age is partially to blame, which is weird because I was the prime candidate for Musical.ly when it rose to popularity back in 2014-2015. But when I see reposts of TikToks on my Instagram Explore Page that are essentially copies of each other, I can’t say I feel the least bit inspired to give it a second chance.
Yes, I had it downloaded around two years ago when I was a freshman in college. My roommate at the time was obsessed; she even managed to go viral a few times with the subject of her videos mainly being her boyfriend at the time or her family. In the majority of the TikToks she filmed in our shared dorm room, you can see me still sleeping in my raised twin bed.
I was honestly a bit jealous of her success, and she also seemed to love the attention she was getting. But there was always this voice in the back of my mind wondering, “Who exactly is seeing her videos right now?”
Anyone can see what you post online, and TikTok in particular has been under fire for privacy concerns. Amid the height of political controversy last summer, it’s all anyone seemed to be talking about.
This privacy concern — and my own mental health purposes — is what causes me to stray away from social media on all platforms: If you ever stumble across my Instagram, you’ll see I have zero posts. I open my Snapchat sporadically now, and the only reason I have a LinkedIn is because it was an assignment for one of my classes.
But as cliché as it may sound, I’m enjoying living in the moment rather than watching it happen through my phone screen.
My birthday is in a few days, and as much as I hate to admit it, one of my first thoughts I had was what kind of pictures I should be taking in case I finally post something on Instagram. It’s as if I have to prove to my followers I’m fun, I like to go out and most importantly, I have friends. Yes, I want to prove to strangers on the internet that I have friends.
This constant desire for others’ approval is exhausting, and it’s one of the many reasons why millions of young adults — especially women — have social media anxiety.
But then on the other hand, TikTok has taught me more than I care to admit.
There are countless hair, makeup, baking and even school hacks I’ve learned from watching reposted TikToks on Instagram. It has become an expansive platform for users to express their creativity and educate the public on all things — from beauty to politics to social issues.
The creative and intellectual sides of TikTok sometimes make me want to revisit the app, but until social media and I can be on good terms, I don’t think I can see myself redownloading it.