The fall and winter seasons (alternatively known as cuffing season) lend themselves to snuggles and cuddles with a significant other, but not all of us have that special someone. Cuffing season is when we all yearn for someone — anyone — to participate with us in every cute, holiday-themed activity that exists. For all my ladies who don’t have that special someone this cuffing season: This one’s for you. After a tough break-up, I’ve realized that there are lots of ways that being single helps me be a better person. I have found myself enjoying being single and not looking for another relationship — hence, being single and *not* ready to mingle.
Self-love is the most important type of love.
If Ariana Grande hasn’t gotten this message across by now, then I don’t think anyone else will be able to. Nothing is more powerful than a woman who knows her worth. It’s imprinted onto us that we must love ourselves before we can love someone else, and that holds true. You have to love all of yourself — including flaws — because that’s what makes you who you are. Loving yourself gives you a sense of confidence and pride, and no one can stop an empowered woman. Knowing who you are, what you like and what you dislike ultimately makes you a better, well-rounded person.
We’re young.
There is so much life and success ahead for all of us, and finding love shouldn’t be our number-one priority right now. Trust me, I’m a hopeless romantic as much as the next person, but now just isn’t the time to be worrying about relationships. We live in an age where connecting with people is easier than ever. It’s at the tip of our fingertips with apps like Tinder, Hinge and Bumble. There’s an expectation that we have to find someone, settle down and get married by a certain age, but that isn’t and shouldn’t be true. We are all living life at our own pace, and, as long as you’re happy, it doesn’t matter whether or not you’re married by 26.
Your happiness is in your hands.
You can’t rely on other people to ensure your happiness. As a society, we like to think that our happiness is derived from external factors: “Being with someone will make me happy. This new [purse, makeup, car] will make me happy.” And while material things do give us a rush of dopamine, it isn’t long-lasting. Once you start to understand the idea that happiness isn’t a physical person or thing, you learn that you don’t need another human being to fulfill that role in your life. Happiness doesn’t solely come from another person.
You have to know yourself before you can get to know someone else.
Taking the time to develop yourself and your goals, passions, likes and dislikes is infinitely more important than taking the time to get to know someone else. This is the time to be selfish with your time, ladies. Take the time to get to know who you are. If you don’t know yourself, then what are you going to do with someone else?
By no means am I anti-relationship. I love being with someone as much as the next person, but I can’t deny that there’s value in taking some time to be by yourself and grow independently of another person. These days, I don’t find myself actively seeking out the love and acknowledgement of a significant other anymore. Of course, we all go through spells of being lonely and wanting nothing more than to be in the arms of a significant other (especially during cuffing season), but there is plenty of love and company to be found in other facets of your life. Being single can feel like the end of the world sometimes, but I promise it isn’t. There’s a whole world of opportunities and experiences out there waiting for you and only you.