Dear Male Delivery,
How do I stop a second date from happening when I’ve already kind of told him yes? I was just trying to be nice. I want to be friends with him and he’s moving way too fast…
First of all, I’d like to point out that you don’t “kind of” tell someone yes. It is literally a yes or no question, and quite frankly, a very easy one at that.
I hate to be blunt here, but it is necessary… WHY DID YOU SAY YES??
If the first date did not go well for you and you think it’s not going to work out, it is completely OK to say no to a second date. Of course, there are a lot of easier versions of saying no. Examples, “I think you are a really great guy, but I don’t think we would work out,” or the classic, “I think we should just be friends.” It’s that easy.
I know I am going to step on toes here, but when a girl tells me that it is hard to say no to a guy, I think it is total hogwash. Muster up some courage and do it! You have to understand that it was very hard for the guy to ask you out in first place, so be a woman and be honest.
Your way out of this: Approach him or call him (not the best way to do this but effective) and tell him one of the said examples above, but be honest and communicate the “no” to him well. DO NOT TEXT HIM to tell him the way you feel (that’s pretty cowardly). Do not leave any room for hope (I know that sounds heartless but it’s the best thing for him). If you beat around the bush, he will still think he has a chance, which is not good for you.
“I was trying to be nice” is literally the worst excuse in the world because I think many agree that the nicest thing would be to easily say no. Cheesy song reference: “Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same” (The Fray – All At Once)
Just please, please, please do not drag him on. If you do, you are making the potential pain for him more and more in the end. I’ll be honest. I asked one girl on a date a few months ago and right there on the spot, she told me, “no, I don’t think so” (of course, she said it a lot sweeter than that). Guess what. I was happy! For the first time in my life, someone had been very honest with me upfront. People move on (or at least they should) because the saying that “there are plenty of fish in the sea” is very true especially when you go to a school of at least 35,000 people, about half of which are the opposite sex.