Dear Male Delivery,
I feel like my guy takes me for granted. He used to be so sweet and caring when we first met and now it seems like he could care less whether we’re together or not. Where is the love and how do I get it back?
Ah, maintaining the feelings or the “spark.”
It is truly tough, is it not?
The beginning days of the relationship are what we call the “honeymoon stage.” This involves obnoxious moments (for 3rd party friends) of the two significant others socially makin out with each other. They laugh and touch and say inside jokes trying their best to seriously distance everyone away from them. However, it is pretty great when you are in the actual relationship.
BUT, those feelings do fade and you are actually tossed into what it really means to be in a relationship. This involves fighting, ignoring, bickering, etc. It’s hard because this is where we begin to see each other’s faults.
Sometimes though, people begin to fade.
It’s unfortunate and honestly a very cowardice way to deal with problems, and that’s why guys do it. Men may exhibit this now and then because it might be due to a certain dislike in the way we are monitored. What I mean is our feelings and actions towards you may begin to dwindle due to the fact that we don’t want to be tied down too much.
It’s a classic fault of men to be scared of commitment, but it sometimes is very true. We are scared of someone dictating our lives or giving us boundaries around the things that we like. It does happen sometimes, ladies. Be honest. Unfortunately, many times we may assume that this fact is imminent, so we do what we can enjoy our last moments of complete freedom.
But the fact, at hand, is that this man is very apathetic towards the relationship. If this is the case, it may behoove you to create a ultimatum. Confront the issue. Ask him why he has been distant. Tell him that it has affected your current condition. Be truthful, but loving. Do not accuse him or act as if you are completely not at fault, but with a comforting tone, say what’s on your mind and ask what you can do/suggest to him what he can do better for you.
A fair and honest approach is beyond rebuke. If he gets mad at you, then there’s something wrong with him and consider the idea of breaking things off(yeah, I know it is hard). The key to a great relationship is communication, and if you boldly admit what you feel is wrong and he responds bitterly, then reconsider how “great” your relationship actually is. If he responds (like a true man) well, you are in a good position. He may understand his wrong or maybe he points out a fault of yours, and you both can work through it. After that, enjoy the understanding that you now have gained and accommodation you now can celebrate.
Basically, don’t harbor the rough feelings, but talk to him about it and hope that he will understand. Communicate!
Sincerely,
Your Real Live College Guy
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