I was skimming through Pinterest the other day (you know, the thing you do instead of studying) and couldn’t help but get overwhelmed by the countless wedding pins I scrolled through. Dresses, shoes, venues, themes–we think we have it all figured out, but there’s one thing missing: the guy. Admit it, you have a board just like this somewhere on your profile, it’s probably filed under a name such as, “To Have & To Hold” or, “When I Tie The Knot.” I know this because I have the exact same board. And I have the exact same anxiety of “Will I ever tie the knot?”
We start to wonder what’s wrong with us; why aren’t we in a fully committed relationship with the man of our dreams yet? But the truth is, everyone’s life is different. We were not all made to find Mr. Right in college (I mean, heck, I haven’t even found Mr. “Eh, he’ll do for now”) and though we’re single, that doesn’t mean we aren’t in a committed relationship. Maybe your commitment is to your studies and you’re focusing on getting your law degree or graduating with honors. Maybe your commitment is to your friends and you’re solidifying the lifelong friendships you will have. Being committed doesn’t mean having a significant other, it means caring about something enough to put it first.
If you’re like me, you’ve probably received pressure from every angle of your life. Your family members ask you why you’re still single, while they pass the gravy at Thanksgiving dinner, acting like they didn’t just ask you a soul-crushing question; your friends are in committed relationships with their perfect significant others while you just finished binge watching an entire season of The Office. We put pressure on ourselves because we want to be like everyone else. I mean, face it, we all had that dream once we graduated high school; we imagined we’d meet the perfect boy during our freshman year of college (maybe your hands would touch while reaching for the same book at the library, maybe he’d lose his pen in class and ask to borrow yours, maybe he’d approach you at a frat party asking if you’ve ever tried an ice luge, idk), we thought that the relationship would last through senior year and by the time we graduated, we would also end up engaged.
We all thought we would “get the ring by spring,” get married soon after, and live happily ever after. But that’s not the way life works. We need to keep in mind that we are only in our early 20s and we have so much ahead of us. I think what we forget most often is that there is life beyond college; once we graduate, we aren’t ending our lives, we are just beginning them. No, you haven’t met your Knight In Shining Armour yet, but you will one day, whether it’s in the next week, the next year, or the next ten years. College isn’t necessarily about meeting your perfect man, but more so discovering who you are and what you want to do with your life. Don’t get down on yourself because your ring finger is still empty by graduation, be excited that your life has only just begun.
Sincerely,
A Fellow Single Girl
Thumbnail by Julia Caesar on Unsplash.