Ah, Bachelor Nation. It’s January, and with every new year brings a new man ready to break a new set of ladys’ hearts. All over America, women and men gather around their television on Mondays at 8pm and flip to ABC while nuzzling popcorn and red wine to watch this ridiculous show (myself included). But this year, there’s a new obsession buzzing on everyone’s lips and bouncing around the Internet. Is the new Bachelor an Astronaut? Did he find the cure for a century old disease? Is he Timothée Chalamet?! Nope!
But he is a virgin!
You absolutely did read that right. Every Monday for upwards of two hours, the world fawns over the highly-coveted concept of a man not having engaged in a sexual act. Except, the world doesn’t WANT to talk about Colton’s virginity, because ironically, we seem to understand that virginity doesn’t really mean anything and is not some billion-dollar prize to be won.
When you realized this entire season of #TheBachelor is just going to be people continuously bringing up the fact that a man is a virgin pic.twitter.com/xYJcA6Yqjo
— pop culture princess (@popculttime) January 8, 2019
Some of the ladies on the show, however, did not pick up on the memo that virginity isn’t a foreign concept. Many made jokes about Colton and the need for his “cherry” to be popped. Ew. Yes, there are virgins in this world because no, sex is not the end-all and be-all of life. A shocker, I know. This is such a prominent issue people are making a DRINKING GAME out of how many times it’s mentioned.
If I keep drinking every time somebody talks about @colton virginity on the bachelor, I’m going to become an alcoholic ???
— cheyenne michelle (@oldtownchey) January 18, 2019
#TheBachelor Drinking game. Take a shot every time someone says #virginity … @colton
— Kristen Plati (@KristenPlati) January 18, 2019
#TheBachelor Drinking Game: Take a drink every time someone mentions @colton’s virginity.
— Jordan Ross (@jordanrosstv) January 22, 2019
Hello?! A problem! That is one!
People cannot fathom that a man has not engaged in sexy time so much that SNL literally made an entire skit about Colton being a virgin!
Bachelor Nation, brace yourselves, because #SNL spared no one in this week’s skewering of Colton Underwood’s season. https://t.co/rT23UEKTog
— Refinery29 (@Refinery29) January 27, 2019
Was it funny? Maybe! But the fact that we’re still making fun of a guy because he hasn’t had sex yet is really wild. There is more about Colton than being a virgin, I hope the world realizes.
All teehee’s and haha’s aside, though. This really shows how society thinks about sex, the weight of sex, the decisions behind sex and the reinforcement of the virgin label. Sex is such a personal thing whether people hold zero value in it or think of it in high regard. It boils down to being open with your body and sharing it with another person in the hopes that they treat you with respect so that you can both enjoy a fun, natural activity safely (please engage in safe sex because safe sex is for cool kids). It is not an indication of status, worth or superiority—but it’s really childish and exclusive and not to mention totally intrusive for people to be so hard-wired on the speculations behind Colton having sex or NOT having sex. It’s come to the point where people are speculating about Colton’s sexuality, which is never a cool thing to do, ever. There is only one answer. He doesn’t want to yet, and doesn’t have to until he is ready. That’s it. That’s the tea. Everyone can go home and mind their business, now.
This debate behind a personal choice stems from society’s understanding of the pillars of masculinity, and people have chosen to use sex as a tool by which to judge the masculinity and value of men. Don’t get me wrong, they use it against women too as a different kind of sexual shame tactic (the prude if you don’t, whore if you do sort of tango that no one wants to dance). But with men? Let me tell you. Men are reduced to sexual brain-dead zombies that can’t do anything but talk about sleeping with women. Men cannot possibly have an interest in anything outside of sexual relations with women. I say ‘with women’ because men that like other men is a whole other can of worms that I may or may not open at a later date, stay tuned. The extreme college dude “bro mentality” that plagues society is really daunting, and I feel bad for Colton. He’s a football player; founder of the The Legacy Foundation, a charity that works to support children with cystic fibrosis; and loves dogs!
A mood!
Here are some fun facts, Her Campus readers—Colton Underwood is a person. Virginity is a social construct. The world should have better, bigger things to talk about, and I’m still trash and will absolutely keep watching The Bachelor in my leisure time because as stupid and backwards as this show is, it’s still funny, mindless television that allows me to pretend I don’t have internships to apply for, or homework to do.