This Is Why You Were So Uncomfortable During ‘The Bachelor’ Finale

Alright, everyone. We have got to talk about everyone’s favorite cringe-worthy reality television show. The Bachelor has always been over-the-top with season villains, plenty of tears and dramatic “we swear this isn’t scripted” moments. But on Season 22’s finale, as millions of fans tuned in to watch Arie pick between two of the final contestants, we wonder if The Bachelor series finally went too far.

The general consensus is a heaping yes.

The episode started as per usual. Arie brings the two women to meet his family and then subjects them to the agony of waiting for his final choice, and Chris Harrison promises us that the inevitable pain of a woman getting her heart broken on national television will be “the most dramatic finale yet.” The more we reflect on the nature of this show, the more we realize just how sadistic America is. Eventually, Arie says goodbye to Lauren and picks Becca K. All is well! The final rose is given! The romantic music plays! Everything fades to black!

Or at least that’s what we thought.

Arie can’t stop thinking about Lauren months after he decides to let her go. He can’t eat, he can’t sleep and he is lost without her love, so he has to get her back! So in a matter of minutes, as we watch a beautiful montage of Becca and Arie in love post-Bachelor proposal, the Bachelor Nation goes from this:

To this:

Oh, the humanity! Love is dead! Men are monsters! Why can’t we stop watching?! Can it get any worse than this? Well, it did.

ABC decided to have an additional hour of unedited content just so the world could see Arie break up with Becca months after their engagement so that he could pursue a relationship with Lauren. Breakups happen every single day, but breakups do not happen on television for the world to see, and that’s where the cruelty and the grossness kicks in.

Reason You’re Uncomfortable One:

You realize that Arie did this on purpose.

Arie did not need to request the presence of cameras for this breakup! This was during the “happy couples weekend,” which is the time period where the newly engaged couple gets some alone time outside the public eye after production stops rolling. That means Arie had to purposefully go out of his way to ask for a camera crew to document breaking Becca’s heart! He made the conscious decision to publicly humiliate her when this could have been done in private. Why?!

Reason You’re Uncomfortable Two:

You realize Arie literally has zero respect for Becca.

It’s bad enough that he flew her all the way out from Minnesota to Los Angeles just to break up with her and tell he’s getting back together with his ex, but then Arie adds purposefully not respecting Becca’s wishes or boundaries for an hour. This is actually a major problem. All Becca asks of him in this moment is for him to give her space and to leave. But for an agonizing hour of unedited footage we see Arie doing anything but respecting her request. He follows her around the house, watches her cry, and asks her humiliating questions (really, bro? You just ended your engagement and you have the nerve to ask her while she’s crying if she’s okay?!). She constantly asks him to leave, not to touch her, and that she has nothing left to say. Yet Arie continued to devalue her word and her right to comfort because he insists on trying to relieve his own guilt. Make no mistake, he wasn’t asking Becca if she was okay for her. He was asking these questions so that he could help himself not feel like the monster he was in that moment. He even invalidated her emotions by speaking on her behalf: “I know you’re embarrassed, I know this wasn’t what you were expecting, it kills me to see you like this.” That’s all about him, not her. This kind of controlling emotional tactic is an aspect of rape culture that needs to not be normalized but recognized for what it is.

Reason You’re Uncomfortable Three:

You want the madness to end but can’t stop watching.

Seriously! This is awful, humiliating content! Make it stop! Turn it off! Why have we been sitting here for three hours watching Becca cry? Why can’t I stop rage-tweeting about how immoral and classless this is but still won’t turn off my TV?!  But, look on the bright side. We got some seriously hilarious and empowering tweets from Twitter and Becca K. is officially our next Bachelorette! Hooray, justice!

Ultimately, you’re uncomfortable because you’re probably a decent person that understands that exploiting a person’s personal moments and watching them cry on national television when they didn’t deserve it is awful. Look at you, being all self-aware! At least you can walk away knowing you have common human decency and a heart unlike some people. Looking at you, Arie. 

• After the Final Rose
• The Bachelor
• the bachelor finale