The lines of being friends with benefits are as foggy as my glasses when I exit the sauna.
At first, the whole idea of being friends who only have sex with each other seems pretty clear cut and dry. No cuddling. No deep conversations. Just sex. Sounds pretty simple, right? Wrong!
Soon enough the clear cut line starts to get blurry. One of you starts wanting to cuddle after sex. One of you wants to call the other randomly in the middle of the day just to hear the other person’s voice. One of you starts getting jealous whenever another person hits their line after a “benefits session” is completed. One of you will inevitably start blurring the lines and catching feelings. It is bound to happen!
Now in a dream world, the one catching feelings will have their feelings requited by the other person. But this isn’t Barbie’s Dream World and Ken isn’t sitting shirtless in your hot pink Corvette. This is the real world and chances are your friends with benefits agreement will end with unrequited love and heartbreak.
A friend with benefits is always a bad idea. Save your heartbreak for when your Chipotle bag tears and your expensive guacamole has gone to waste. Or when your eyebrow lady moves away, and now your eyebrows resemble a gorilla.
Don’t waste your heartbreak on a complicated situationship.
If you need benefits then hit up your local sex shop and take care of it yourself. If you need a male friend just to talk to, then hit up Bob from Chemistry class who lets you copy his notes when you skip class. But do not, I repeat do not start giving Bob benefits. It will only ends in failure.