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An Open Letter to the Guy that Lost His Chance

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UIC chapter.

Dear Guy That Lost His Chance,

This letter isn’t meant to be an angry one or a sad one; it’s more of a “I’m still fabulous without you” letter. You’re probably thinking, “what does this letter even have to do with me if you’re doing great?” This letter is a sassy one to make you think about what could have been if you didn’t lose your chance. We’re going to take a trip to the past, then to the future, then make our way back to the present. Let’s begin, shall we?

Let’s start from the beginning, when we first met. It was a normal day for me, just rushing to get to my first class and you weren’t on my mind. I didn’t even know our paths were going to cross that day, but if I did, I would have just stayed in bed. When we first met, I thought, “wow, this guy is really cute!” I was hoping you were thinking, “wow, this girl is really cute!”, but let’s be real, I was rocking the bummy look that day. I was rocking the messy bun, glasses, hoodie, and yoga leggings, but if you thought I looked cute with that look, then when I actually tried, I would have looked like model to you. We talked and it was easy, but it wasn’t until the third time we spoke that we exchanged numbers and added each other on Facebook.

We reached the point of no return. You had three roads you could take at this point.  First, we have road one: the never-ending road. This road is the road where it’s only talking. You make no plans to hangout or go on a date. If I bring it up, then you always have an excuse about why you can’t, and that you promise we’ll do something soon. Next, we have road two: the friend zone road. This road has a destination. We become great friends without a care in the world. Is there a possibility of us becoming more than friends? Sure, but this road doesn’t make that a first priority because at this point we’re happy with just being friends. Last but not least, we have road three: the f*ckboy road. This is where you go from being the nice guy to a f*ckboy. You finally ask to go on a date, which to me is “ooh, we’re gonna take a chance.” This is where the horse drawn carriage from Cinderella turns into a pumpkin because your version of a date is Netflix and Chill, or you think “this is it man, if I go on a date with her I will finally get in her pants”. Sorry to burst your bubble, but you picked the girl that isn’t about the hook up culture and actually wants a relationship and not the friends with benefits relationship, but an actual boyfriend/girlfriend relationship. 

Out of all the roads, you had to pick the f*ckboy road. Road one or two would have been better. Road one, we would have been able to cut our losses quick and never speak again or have the casual “hey how’s it going” if we passed each other. Road two, we would have been friends currently. Let’s take a quick look at what the future would have looked like if you chose my version of road three. My version of road three is the relationship road. We would have gone on the date, and if we realized that it wasn’t for us, just go to being friends.  It wouldn’t be what you did where we go on the date and you string it along like its going to turn into a relationship. The road where you say all the right things and how you want a relationship, when let’s be real: you just wanted a hookup. If you wanted just a hookup, you should have just said it rather than play games.

Let’s come back to the present and look at where we are. For me, I’m doing great, honestly. Was I pissed and upset with what went down? Hell yeah, because it wasn’t fair to me and made me doubt myself. All it took was a little bit of ice cream, ranting, and then my best friends, to make me realize I’m better off without you. I’m better off without you because I’m still wonderful, smart, funny, and kind, and someday a man is going to see that and not play games with me. I needed a man and you were just a boy. Now, I do hope that you are doing well, and don’t wish anything bad for you because that’s not who I am. I hope that you’ve opened up your eyes and realized you can’t play games forever. One day, there’s going to be a girl that walks into your life that you try messing with and two things can happen. The first being you royally screw up because you realize this girl is one that you actually wanna be in a relationship with and she walks away. The second is that she’s a f*ckboy too and gives you a taste of your own medicine. My advice to you is to grow up and be a man.

Have a nice life,

The Girl You Lost

Hi I'm Aeja! Junior at UIC and a Pre Nursing Major. I try to write what inspires me, so I hope you enjoy my articles!
Erin is a Communication student at the University of Illinois at Chicago and the President and Editor-in-Chief of UIC's Her Campus chapter. On a daily basis, she can be found making excessive film references and getting overly emotional about superhero TV shows. She has a deep passion for writing, movies, music, good books, and great food, and will gladly talk your ear off about all of the above if prompted to do so.