“It’s okay to not be okay”– has become one of the most cherished phrases in my life that I never thought would be. It simply once used to be a verse from a song I felt embarrassed of enjoying: “Who You Are”, by Jessie J. I have learned to embrace this phrase more than ever, especially as I come to figure out (or lack of figuring out) where I want to be after college, and recognize the impending uncertainty of it all.
It’s okay to not be okay with where your life is at right now, or for not enjoying what you’re studying or doing right now. It’s okay to be unhappy and anxious about things you cannot control, or even things you can control. What is real happiness, if it is only conditional? The hardest part of growing up is learning to center yourself, and control your feelings, thoughts and emotions in an otherwise chaotic world. Regardless of how cozy you may keep the confines of your immediate surroundings, it’s been pretty clear within the past couple years alone how unpredictable and crazy life can get. Whether or not you practice mindfulness each day, or how often you may meditate, we all endure some form of a “breaking point” in our lives.
Circumstantial happiness is feelings of joy, bliss, contentment, etc., when things in your life are going okay. Growing up, this was what had been taught to us, in identifying our emotions, and understanding what exactly makes us feel better as individuals. The issue, however, is that we perceive it as the antidote for our own feelings of resentment, self-loathing, or any sort of dissatisfaction towards ourselves or within our lives. We look at things like social media is the lens of truth in how or where we are supposed to be in our lives, and that is the right path to get on in order to obtain this happiness that everyone seems to already have.
How exactly does one, then, stray away from this mindset of only feeling true happiness when things are going right? It begins with being okay with not being okay. There is no set answer or formula to follow on being happy always, and there unfortunately is no such thing as this. These past couple of years have taught me that anything can change, no matter where you are in life, or how successful or unsuccessful you may think you are. In my life, these are the very moments where I concede as being the times I am most vulnerable– and therefore, most open to change. The moments where I cannot pinpoint how I can attain more happiness, when all else seems to be failing.
It’s by starting off your day with being okay with whatever kind of day you get, and being okay with however it is that you end up feeling about that day. It’s being okay with the natural order of things around you and understanding that it does not necessarily mean that it is the end-all-be-all. It’s acknowledging each straying thought you may have, and not picking and choosing which is “good” or “bad” to keep.
Above all else, it’s feeling the way of which your day goes in conjunction with who you are– and building that wall of compassion that is insurmountable– regardless of what may come to be.