Once upon a time in the land of the bluegrass, there lived the University of Kentucky. One day, Disney princesses invaded the campus, taking the school by storm; they definitely made sure we all remembered them well after they were gone. Here are some of their most outrageous stories:
• Jasmine incessantly demanded that UK change its mascot from the Wildcats to the Tigers, in honor of her pet, Rajah. On behalf of the University of Kentucky, I would just like to say for the last time, Jasmine, we’re not changing our mascot. We are the UK Wildcats and it’s staying that way.
• Snow White introduced a new line of lip gloss called Poisoned Apple, which has become very successful in a matter of days. Although, several students have complained they have felt sleepier than usual after applying it.
• Belle has been seen in Commons and Blazer countless times talking to the silverware, alongside her friend Ariel, who prefers to use a fork—or what she likes to call a “dinglehopper”—to comb her hair.
• Cinderella’s shoe fetish has quickly gotten out of control. In fact, she started her own website called Fairy Godmother of Shoes—a dating website that brings people together by comparing the types of shoes they prefer.
• Aurora constantly fell asleep in class and refused to move until a handsome male student woke her up with “true love’s kiss.” Yeah, okay, Sleeping Beauty. Sleep deprivation or a whole new level of desperation for a boyfriend? The jury’s still out.
• Mulan took the phrase “girl power” to a whole new level after the coaching staff discovered she had been playing as a safety on the football team for the last several games. After winning MVP honors, she and her pet cricket were carried off the field on the team’s shoulders. Props to you, girl! Show those boys how it’s done.
• Pocahontas was recently seen outside of Whitehall talking to the trees; she claims she’s trying to contact “Grandmother Willow.” Good luck with that, honey.
• Rapunzel was awarded the UK Medal of Valor after she used her lengthy tresses to evacuate the residents of the 10th floor of Blanding Tower after a fire broke out. The students were all saved, though Rapunzel suffered a few split ends.
• Merida started a girls archery team at UK and appointed herself as the coach, although students on the team had a hard time understanding her thick, Scottish accent.
• Queen Elsa confessed to freezing UK’s campus last semester, canceling class for the snow day. Everyone enjoyed the time off, including Elsa’s sister. Anna, who was seen asking multiple students if they wanted to build a snowman (after Elsa refused to).
Although these lovely ladies only stayed for a short time, they were well-known around campus and provided much entertainment for the students. Their presence will definitely be missed!