I believe it is agreeable by all people that it is a true pleasure to be in good company!
Do you think you could go a lifetime without your close girlfriends?
No? I didn’t think so.
Going through life, in all its’ exuberance, would be significantly more stressful and demanding without those supporting and aiding companionship along the way. I know for sure that the genuine friendships I’ve collected throughout my lifespan are definite boosters to my endurance, confidence, well-being and overall quality of life and I’m forever grateful.
While it’s important to have friendships, I think it’s also essential to cultivate them in a semi-specific manner. This doesn’t mean your relationship is going to be perfect; the goal is simply more positivity. I’m no expert but through my personal ideologies and wisdom from exemplar relatives and elders I’d like to share five tips on how to enhance your friending skills!
I’d like to think of this piece as a quality check for your friendships. While reading, you should question: Am I doing these things? How could I do them better?
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Educate yourself on what a good friend is (with some terminology picked up in ethics and interpersonal communication classes I’ve taken)
The ideal friendship is essentially the loving of one another for her own sake. True friends, that are referred to as end friendships in ethics, are friends not because of any misconstrued gratification you think may come from it; you are fond of them due to their unique quirks and dispositions. You may have surrounded yourself unconsciously with girls who align with core values and outlooks on trivial topics, and identifying what you like so much about your friend can help you gauge what those views may be.
You should VALUE YOUR FRIEND as an irreplaceable asset because no one can be more like her than she is!
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Support their efforts and aspirations
A big part of loving another person to me encompasses active and genuine interest. You should want to support one another’s talents, businesses and jobs well done. Don’t be afraid to celebrate her new internship or job, compliment her new business endeavor or even post her blog link.
I feel a lot of women and young ladies often shy away from being openly supporting to others successful feats due to intimidation. I say lose the bitterness along with any ill feelings, and find the progressive space in your heart to work with your friends and not against them! — why I titled the article the way I did!
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Providing support in times of adversity
Being a ‘helping hand’ and ‘a shoulder to cry on’ is seeming more like ‘just phrases’ than real happenings within our generation as of late. When your friend goes to vent, you can’t leave your remarks at the ‘dang, that’s crazy’. Being a good friend in occurrence of bad events requires offering supportive feedback, physical consolation and words of encouragement.
Even if you don’t feel like you’re the most efficient at giving advice, it’s always good to ask if they need anything of you, if they’d like to pray together or go find something to do that can uplift their spirits. Mishaps are apart of life, and giving her the support you’d like to have when you’re down bad could help her get through her struggles a little bit faster.
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Don’t be a ‘Petty Betty’
This basically means you need to speak directly of your feelings. Social media, as prevalent and integrated it is into our everyday lives, can sometimes promote toxic publications of emotions. When you feel wronged or slighted by a friend, it’s not for Snapchat or a Twitter thread.
Of course there’s still old fashioned word of mouth gossip but that’s no good either. I’m sure you’d find way more solutions by simply telling your friend of the issue and spares a whole lot of embarrassment of both your parts as well because you didn’t act out of poor character.
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Respect your differences
You don’t have to be the relatively the same person or ‘twin nem’, agree on everything, like all the same things and share the same leisurely pleasures. While a number of girls find it easiest or super cute when you can just change clothes, share music libraries and even sexual preferences — you can’t be so opposed to conversing just because you aren’t fond of the topic.
Embrace the things, hobbies and characteristics you do share but remember to lend a less judgmental and displeased stance when they bring up differences.
At the end of the day, I think it is important to resolve within yourself that there are actions to follow the commitments you make. You also get more meaningful pleasures from life when you uplift those you care about instead of letting things go wayward.
Love your sis.